Heartaches
by VeroGeller
Summary: [LAST CHAPTER UP!] It takes after TOW Ross is fine. Ross and Rachel have been hidding their feeling for each other way to much. What will they do when they are not able to handle it anymore?. An RnR fic. Please read and review.
1. Heartaches 1

"HEARTACHES" - Chapter 1  
  
"Did you talked to him?" asked Rachel as Joey entered their appartment  
  
"yeah... the guy is a wreck Rach... he's not fine at all with all this" replied Joey as he sat on his favourite chair  
  
"And what did he say?"  
  
"Well... he said we shouldn't stop just because of him, that you two haven't date in 6 years, and that he will try to be ok with us being... you know.... "us""  
  
"He's right... we haven't been together is 6 years Joe"  
  
"But still Rach... you two belong together... even I know that... you are 'Ross and Rachel'... that's the way it should be" said Joey looking down  
  
"No Joe... we are not 'Ross and Rachel' anymore... that's over... and it's been over for a while now"  
  
"Yeah... that's what he said" Joey lifted his head to look at her "Maybe you should talk to him.."  
  
"Me?... why me?"  
  
"Cause it's you... it would mean a lot to him to know that you still care about him... and don't tell me you don't cause I know you do"  
  
"I do care about him... he's my friend, and the father of my daughter... but I don't see what's the big deal... he's with Charlie now, isn't he?"  
  
"Yes he is..."  
  
"Our relationship it way over... I just... don't feel that way about him anymore... I feel that way about you" she said approaching to him  
  
"Why are you doing this Rach?"  
  
"Doing what?"  
  
"This... 'us'... six months ago you were still in love with Ross... and now.. suddenly... it's all gone?"  
  
"Well... uhm... I..." rambled Rachel without knowing what to answer "I think so... yeah... that's the way it works I think... beside... Ross wasn't doing anything about our relationship, and when he had the opportunity his insecurities and his jealousy ruined everything once again, and I got tired of waiting for him... I won't wait for him to fight his deamons the rest of my life, so I decided to finally move on" said Rachel trying to hide the sadness in her voice  
  
"I see... the thing here isn't that you have feelings for me... the thing here is that you wanna have feelings for me... it doesn't work that way Rach"  
  
"It's not like that Joe... it's not like that at all"  
  
"Yeah... we'll see" said Joey standing from his chair and heading to the bathroom to take a shower, everything was clearer now  
  
Rachel was left by her self on the living room. She knew Joey was right, it didn't work that way, but if she wanted to be happy she had to make it work, no matter what, loving Ross hurted too much, and she was tired of being hurt. She had decided to move on and who better to move on into than Joey, he was caring, willing to give her so much love and didn't have to fight any personal issues to do so. She loved him, well... not quite yet, but she was sure one day she will cause she wanted to love him with all her soul, she needed to love him, it was the only way she could stop loving Ross.  
  
*~*  
  
Ross was still laying on the couch in his appartment, with a huge headache "I knew there was a reason why I normally don't get drunk. Luckyly Emma is still asleep" he thought and then remembered, he had to take Emma to Rachel's, he wasn't ready to see her, not right now at least, he wasn't strong enough, specially after last night faliure attempt to be "fine" with the situtation. "How did we get here?" he said to himself. His last mistake had costed him much more than he could bare, now that Rachel was with Joey he had finally lost her forever.  
  
Ross stood up to get a glass a water from the kitchen when he heared a knock on the door.  
  
"Rachel?! Wha... what are you doing here?" he asked  
  
"I just came to check on you" she aswer "and to pick up Emma... I supposed you wanted to sleep"  
  
"yeah... kinda... but Emma is a little angel... she's sleeping now"  
  
"I figure" Rachel was still standing on the hallway "can I come in?"  
  
"yeah, of course... I'm... I'm sorry"  
  
Rachel entered the appartment and place his purse on the arm chair  
  
"Give me a second" said Ross entering to the kitchen to get an aspirin  
  
Rachel sat on the big couch and her eyes stopped on the table, there was a photo album, 'their' photo album. She took it, looked at the cover and then sighed. There was written 'R&R always'. She had bought that album for their 6 months anniversary as a gift to him, and both had filled it with picuters of both of them together when they were going out. "I can't believe he still has this". She opened and started to look through the pages. When she was coming near the end she realized there were new pics, pics of her, Ross and Emma together in the park when Emma was 4 months old, pics of her and Emma when they arrived home after the baby was born and a lots of other pics she had never seen before.  
  
"I thought that would make a nice present to Emma one day" she hearded Ross say from behind the couch  
  
"Yeah... it would... it's... it's really beautiful" she said "I didn't think you'd still have this"  
  
"I'd never through it away Rach. I probably shouldn't say this because you are my best friend's girlfriend now, but those were the best moments of my life"  
  
Ross' words took Rachel off guard, she was speachless "Ross... I... I... wanted to talk to you about that..."  
  
"you don't have to explain anything to me Rach... I'm fiiiine"  
  
"Ross?... you can lie to everybody... but you can't lie to me... I was here last night... I know you are not fine"  
  
"But I should be fine Rach, I let you go... I made a mistake... you moved on and that's ok.... I'm happy for you... and I want you to be happy, and with me you'd never be happy Rach"  
  
"Why are you saying that?"  
  
"Because... because I always end up hurting you, and letting you down... I'd wanted to be with you since I was 16, and when I finally had the chance to do so I blow it... I even cheated on you..."  
  
"You... you didn't cheat on me... we were on a break Ross" she said looking at him  
  
Ross smiled "it looks like we switched phrases huh?"  
  
Rachel smiled back "yeah... it looks like we did" she stared at him for a moment "but inspite of everything that happen, I've never regreted the time we were together Ross... and if I had to live it again... well... I would"  
  
"I know... I would too... but that's not the point here Rach.... the point is you deserve much more than me, and that's why I'm gonna try the hardest to be ok with the idea of you and Joey together.... don't let me be the one ruining your happyness again... he loves you a lot, he's crazy about you"  
  
"I know... I know he is... he's a great guy" she said, looking to the window, not wanting to face Ross  
  
Ross stare at her for a while, that was it... her happyness was way more important to him than his, and Joey deserve her much than he ever did. He knew this was gonna be hard, but it didn't matter how painful or how much heartaches this will bring him, it was the right thing to do, and for the first time in a long time... he was doing the right thing with Rachel  
  
to be continue... 


	2. Heartaches 2

HEARTACHE - Chapter 2  
  
A couple of weeks had passed since Ross and Rachel's conversation, Ross had been missing ever since, and the rest of the gang understood it perfectly and weren't asking for anything else, he just needed time to cope with everything. Rachel and Joey had been a couple since they came back from Barbados, but there was still a weirdness between them that didn't want to vanish, specially with Rachel, she was almost running out of excusses not to have sex with him. "If you take that step you'll never be able to take it back" said Monica when she told her her problem "Beside, deep down you don't want your relationship with Joey going any further. Now you have to ask yourself why". Rachel didn't need to ask herself why, she knew it... Monica was right, sleeping with Joey would be accepting they were actually a couple, they had a relationship, they weren't just friends anymore.  
  
"Let me ask you this" said Phoebe as the three girls were sitting in the coffe house having some coffe "when you and Ross slept together for the first time... was it this hard?, was it this unconfortable?"  
  
"The first time Ross and I slept together?" she asked smiling, recalling that very same day, their date in the planetarium, the stars, the music... everything had been perfect  
  
***FLASHBACK***FLASHBACK****  
  
Both were lying on the display area hugging each other  
  
"I can't believe I'm waking up next to you" she said as he kissed her shoulder  
  
"I know, it's pretty unbelieveabl..." Ross trailed as he saw a group of kids and nuns looking at them amazed "we are not alone..."  
  
Rachel raized her eyes and blushed, as Ross covered them with the fur  
  
"Oh my God" she laughed "they saw us!!"  
  
Ross looked at her and smiled "I'm soooo gonna get fired... but this was so worth it"  
  
"I know... it was the most amazing night of my life"  
  
"yeah?... mine too" he said before kissing her once again  
  
***END FLASHBACK***  
  
"RACHEL!!!!" yelled Monica  
  
"Wha... what?" said Rachel coming back to reality  
  
"you have a lost look on your face... what happened?" commented Phoebe  
  
"I was just... thinking... some stuff" replied Rachel placing her hands on her forehead "good... I have a headache now... at least this gives me today's excuse...". Rachel stood up and prepared to live "I have to go pick up Emma from Ross'... thanks for listening you guys"  
  
"No problem hun..." said Monica as Rachel left the coffe house "she really has issues huh?"  
  
"yeah... but that's nothing new"  
  
"Do you know what can it be... I mean... why she can't... you know?" asked Monica concern  
  
"That's an easy one Mon" replied Phoebe as she sipped her coffe  
  
"And why is it?"  
  
"She still has feelings for Ross, and she knows it. She doesn't love Joey... and this whole thing is killing her, cause she knows if something else happens with Joey then nothing will ever happen with Ross... ever again" explained Phoebe matter of factly  
  
"Do you think that's IT?" asked Joey from behind the couch  
  
*~*  
  
Rachel lied on her bed... thinking. Once again she had turned Joey down as Monica's words kept repeating over and over again on her head "you could never take that back", and she was right, once she had slept with Joey there was no step bacl, at all, it would change everything.... forever, so she had to make a decision, and she had to make it quick  
  
She woke up from her bed and header to the kitchen to get a glass of milk to see if that would help her fall sleep. She checked on Emma before leaving the room. Emma, her little angel, she was everything for her, everything she had. Whenever she was feeling down all she needed was to see her daughter's smile and everything was ok. "I wish I could give you a real family honey... but things didn't work out that way... we'll be better on our own... you'll see" she whispered to the baby trying to convince herself. She had decided that she'd never get married, it would be just her and her daughter "like those Gilmore girls from that TV show" she said to herself.  
  
Rachel was feeling nervous, she had a huge day tomorrow, and she knew it. That was why she couldn't sleep , she was anxious and scared, how this decision would affect the rest of her life and the rest of her daughter's life she had no idea, all she knew was that this was the right thing to do. There had been a point in her life where she used to feel like she really didn't want to know what was gonna happen, she just enjoyed the moment. "It was easier that way, it was easier to enjoy the moment when Ross was next to me" she though, sitted on the big yellow couch on the living room as she drank from her glass  
  
Ross, why did everything always had to get back to Ross, every thought, every memory, every wish, it seemed like her wole life was a circle, that started and ended with him, and it didn't matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't help it, even now, 6 years after their last breakup. "6 years..." said Rachel to herself "it seems like it was just yesterday". She looked into the space for a while, she remembered clearly the last time she had called Ross her 'boyfriend', it had been before the letter fight, "damn letter" she thought  
  
***FLASHBACK***FLASHBACK***  
  
Rachel was sitted on Ross' lap in the back of Phoebe's granma's taxi, as they returned from their trip to the beach, next to Chandler, who had spent the whole time complaining about being sitted next to te lovebirds  
  
"Shut up Chandler" said Ross, before going back to kiss Rachel's neck  
  
"Oh man... why do I have to be the one sitting here watching the whole tongues interaction..." complained Chandler once more "See Monica, if you were my girlfriend we could be compiting against them for who can kiss for the longest time, and would make this trip MUCH more interesting, cause I wouldn't have to look at them... but NOOOOO... cause I'm NOT boyfriend material"  
  
"Would you just shut up already?... and please... try to stay away" said Monica, aproaching to Chandler's hearings to whisper "you're still the guy who peed on me"  
  
"And where do you want me to be? On top of those two?. I'm sorry, but the only way I'd have a threesome is me plus 2 girls... I've never seen Ross in any of my fantasies"  
  
"Chandler please.... shut up... seriously..." said this time Rachel "we are trying to enjoy our reconciliation here, right honey?"  
  
"Right sweety"  
  
"God, I missed so much having you as my boyfriend" she gave him a quick pick on the lips  
  
"I know... I missed you too... those 4 months have been a living hell"  
  
"I knowww... it had been a nightmare for me too"  
  
"Yes... living without you is a nightmare"  
  
"Listening to you TWO is a nightmare"  
  
"SHUT UP CHANDLER!!" yelled the whole gang  
  
***END FLASHBACK***  
  
"You are awake" said Joey as he came out from his bedroom rubbing his eyes  
  
"Yeah... I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep... so I came for a glass of milk... what are you doing awake at 3 in the morning?" replied Rachel  
  
"Nothing much" Joey headed to the kitchen and opened the fridge "just my early morning snack.... want some?"  
  
"No... thanks... I really really don't wanna eat now" Rachel stared at him for a while, giving everything a second though "Joey, I'm actually happy that you are awake...... we... we... we kind of need to talk"  
  
"Whata about Rach?" Joey sitted in his favorite chair with a sandwish on his hands  
  
"This... I mean... our situation here..." rambled nervous Rachel  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Well... I.... I mean... I think... we...."  
  
"We should end it?" asked Joey  
  
"Wha... what?" said Rachel surprised  
  
"What?... that wasn't what you were gonna tell me?"  
  
"Well... yeah... that.... that was kind of IT... but... it's just... I..."  
  
"It's ok Rach, you feel akward with all this" said Joey sitting next to her "I knew this was gonna happen... I mean... that was the only explanation for you not wanting some Joey love"  
  
"Yeah.. that's it..." Rachel looked down "are you gonna be ok?"  
  
"Of course Rach... you don't have to worry about me... this past two weeks were amazing, but I never allowed myself make big expectations about 'us'... so chill out... I'm ok... I'm fine... and I mean it"  
  
"Thanks Joe... I was worried about that... I didn't want to hurt you"  
  
"Nah... you didn't... it's ok... I knew this was going to happen" Joey was sincere, he always knew this wasn't gonna last, she belonged to Ross, and he wanted her to be happy, and she'd never be happy if they stayed together. He loved her, that was true, and that was the main reason why this heartache was really worth it... he would do or handle anything for her  
  
"That's.... that's not all" said suddenly Rachel  
  
"It isn't?" replied surprised Joey  
  
"No.. there's... there's something else... I'm... I'm leaving Joe"  
  
To be continue... 


	3. Heartaches 3

HEARTACHE - Chapter 3  
  
Ross arrived home really tired, all he wanted was to get into his bed and shout his bedroom door to the world. He had had an awful day, first he arrived late to his first class, but just on time before his student left the room, so he had to stand the pissed look on everyone's faces for a whole hour, and everything got worst on his next class when he realized he had left the papers for that class on his coffee table. After that horrible morning, his boss had gone to see him to tell him he had a couple of grades he needed to fill within the next two weeks or his entire first year class would fail. And as a cherry on the top of that day's cake, he had run into Mona, his two-years-ago ex-girlfriend who kept on asking how things were with Rachel and the baby, if they had getting together and if they had plans of getting married anytime soon, cause she was about to. "Great!" was all he could say, marrying Rachel would have made a lot of sense two years ago, it looked like everything was ready for them to get back together and finally stayed that way for the rest of their lifes, but once again he had screwed everything and that was probably the reason why he was going to be alone for the rest of his life, cause he was tired of trying to find a girl who was as good for him as Rachel was, there wasn't any, and although Charlie was great, and they had a lot of things in common, there wasn't anything else, anything special at all. He didn't wake up every morning with a smile on his face just because he was with her, she wasn't in every single one of his thoughts since he woke up until he went to sleep and then again in his dreams like Rachel used to be. No, Charlie wasn't that girl, but it was easier for him to be with her than to be on his own, specially in such a hard point of his life, where he already had given up on the hope of spend the rest of his life with the one person he was sure was his soul mate by his side.  
  
He walked into his room to get a towel, he was gonna take a streamly hot shower and then go straight to bed. Lately he had been getting use to take a lot of really hot showers, it helped him to feel alive, the hot water burning his skin sensation made him feel something else, something new, something beside the heartache he felt everyday.  
  
Before Ross could actually get into the shower there was a knock on the door. He looked through the peephole and saw Rachel standing in the hallway. "Great, the one thing that was missing today" he thought as he opened the door  
  
"Hey Rach" he greeted with the best fake smile he could give her "come in"  
  
"Hey Ross" said Rachel entering to the apartment  
  
"Where's Emma?" he asked, realizing Rachel was there by herself  
  
"She's at Monica's. I didn't want to bring her cause I kind of need to talk to you about something, and it may take a while. Do you have time?"  
  
"Of course, of course. I was about to take a shower, but it's ok, it can wait" he said smiling as she sat on the big brown couch  
  
"Thanks" she said, looking down  
  
"Hey, hey!!.. what happened? Why do you have that look on your face? Is it everything ok?" asked Ross sitting next to her on the couch  
  
"Yeah, everything is ok. I just. I just need to talk to you about something, and it's kind of a big deal"  
  
"Whoa!, the last time you needed to talk to me about something was because you and Joey were together" joked Ross, trying to cover how nervous he was for whatever Rachel had to say to him "you two aren't planning on getting married, are you?, cause I can tell you, getting married after dating just a couple of weeks. not a good idea, you may end up saying another person's name on the altar. Believe me, it can happen"  
  
Rachel laugh a little, this kind of things were one of the many things that made her loving him so much, the way he joked to make her feel more comfortable when she was feeling a little stressed. "No Ross, that's not it. It had to do with me and Emma. and with Joey a little bit"  
  
"Ok" he said lying his back on the back of the couch "shoot"  
  
"Well. first of all. Joey and I broke up this morning."  
  
"Really?" interrupted Ross, trying not to sound too cheered by the news "so I suppose you came to ask me if you and Emma can move back here.. Right"  
  
"The truth is." tried to explain Rachel  
  
"Of course you can!!" interrupted Ross once again "I'd be more than happy to have you both back here. not that I'm happy that you and Joe broke up or anything. I'm just saying."  
  
"ROSS!!" yelled Rachel, making Ross stopped talking "could you please hear me out before rushing into your own conclusions?"  
  
"Yes. I'm. I'm sorry Rach. please go on" apologized Ross  
  
"Thank you. as I was saying, Joey and I broke up, but it wasn't an awful break up or anything, we both agreed it was the best thing to do. We are too good as friends to go down that road, you know. it would be just too complicated"  
  
"Yeah, I know, fell in love with a friend is complicated like that" said Ross, looking nervously at his hands, trying to avoid her gaze  
  
"But I don't think I was in love with Joey, otherwise it wouldn't have felt so weird"  
  
"Probably. I guess" said Ross not really knowing how to replied. He wasn't if this was the right moment to talk about being in love with a friend, cause that would imply to talk to her about his feelings, and although she wasn't with Joey anymore she was still his best friend's ex-girlfriend, and he was with Charlie. But he was sure that wasn't everything Rachel needed to tell him, she was still very tense "Was. was that everything you needed to tell me?"  
  
Rachel looked at him and remembered how he had acted that day when Joey, Charlie and her were there eating his 'fajitas', the hurt look on his face and the tears, and felt like she couldn't do it, the guy was already broken because of her, telling him was she was about to would kill him, now wasn't the best moment to do it, maybe after he had healed a little "Yeah, that was pretty much it. I. I just needed to talk about this with a friend" she replied smiling, knowing that one day not to far away she would have to tell him, but not just now.  
  
*~*  
  
"She's leaving?" asked Monica amazed to Joey as the both of them, plus Phoebe were on her apartment talking about what had happened that morning, while Emma was asleep on Rachel's ex-bedroom "Where?"  
  
"LA" replied Joey "apparently she received a job offer she couldn't refuse"  
  
"But she CAN'T live, what about Emma? What about Ross?" asked this time Phoebe  
  
"She told me she wanna take Emma with her, that's why she went to talk to Ross now" answered Joey "I have no idea why she's doing this"  
  
"I do" said Phoebe with a contemplative look on her face "the first time she tried to rebuild her life she run away from everything she had, I guess she's trying to do the same thing"  
  
"Yeah Phoebs, but that was 10 years ago, she wasn't leaving a whole life behind" refuted Monica  
  
"She wasn't? Monica, remember she had a guy on the altar. But this time is much harder, I agree with you on that, cause the first time she didn't lose much, her parents ended up supporting her, and she wasn't complete on her own, she had us. Now she could lose Ross, forever. And also she'll be on a completely different State, just her and her daughter"  
  
"Ross would never allow that" protested Monica "Rachel can't be so selfish!, cause it's not just her this time, Emma is in the middle of all this, she can't take the little girl away from his daddy, that would kill Ross"  
  
"Maybe there's something we could do" suggested Joey  
  
"What do you mean Joe?" asked Phoebe  
  
"I mean.. she said she wasn't gonna leave before Phoeb's wedding, so that would give us like two months to make her and Ross get back together. I think that's the only chance we have for her to stay"  
  
"That sounds like a HELL of a idea!!" screamed Monica really excited "but, are you sure this is what you want honey?" she asked concerned "after all, is still Rachel"  
  
"I know, but I want her to be happy, and I don't want her to leave. And after all, they are still 'Ross and Rachel', we all know they belong together" replied Joey, as cheered as he could  
  
"Then we are coming in!!" said Phoebe as Chandler entered to the apartment  
  
"You are coming in where Phoebs?" he asked as he placed his briefcase on the table  
  
"Chandler?, are you gonna leave that there?" asked Monica with a reproving tone  
  
"Hey honey, I'm happy to see you too" said Chandler taking his briefcase once again and entering to their bedroom. Once he came out to the living room he joined the rest of the gang on the living room and looked at Phoebe "well?" he asked  
  
"Well what?" answered Phoebe lost  
  
"When I came in you said you guys were coming in. where?" he asked curious  
  
"You know curiosity killed the cat, right Chandler?" replied seriously Phoebe  
  
"What cat?" asked Joey  
  
"It's an expression Joe" explained Monica  
  
"Yeah, but what does have a cat to do with making Ross and Rachel get back together?" replied Joey  
  
"You are gonna what?!" asked Chandler  
  
Monica gave Joey a killer look before tried to explain her husband everything that had happened and why they were planning to do all this "but you have to promise me you are gonna keep your mouth shout!!" she demanded once she had finished  
  
"Mon, what did I told you about butting in people's life?"  
  
"I know, but the last time I did it, it worked out really well" she said taking Phoebe's hand and pointing at her engagement ring  
  
"I have to agree with her on this one" said Phoebe  
  
"Are you ok with all this Joe?" Chandler was worried about his best friend, he knew how much Joey loved Rachel  
  
"Yeah, actually it was kind of my idea"  
  
"Really Joe?"  
  
"I love her man, but I want her to be happy, happy like she was when she was with Ross, remember? And, I know she still has feelings for him, that's one of the reasons why she's doing all this" explained Joey  
  
"Then if you are all on this, I guess I'll have to join you. and don't worry Mon, I won't say a thing"  
  
"YAY! The 4 of us never do anything all together. This is going to be so much fun!!" exclaimed Phoebe as the four friends joined on a group hug  
  
"Hang on" said Monica breaking the hug "we may have a problem here"  
  
"What'ya mean hun'?  
  
"Rachel went to talk about this with Ross. there's a tiny chance that after that conversation he's not gonna want to see her ever again. you know how awful those guy's fights are"  
  
"Nah, I don't think that's going to be a problem" replied Chandler who had approached to the window and was looking through to Ross' apartment "they are saying their goodbyes with a hug. I don't think Rachel told him anything"  
  
"GREAT!!" yelled Monica and everyone gave her a weird look "I'm sorry"  
  
TO BE CONTINUE... 


	4. Heartaches 4

****////Thank you all very much for your reviews... I'm happy you are liking this story. WE NEED MORE ROSS AND RACHEL FANFICS!!!.... hehehe.... I just can't get enough of those two.... you know.... Just one thing before you read this chapter.... the Flashback from this chapter comes after the fight Ross and Rachel had in TOW Monica sings.... ow... and Phoebe and Mike got back together and engaged in Barbados.... I forgot to tell you that.... now please keep reading and reviewing////****  
  
HEARTACHE - Chapter 4  
  
"So, what was the plan again?" asked Joey coming into C&M's appartment with a video tape on his hands  
  
"for the 4th time Joe... remember the first time they got together?" replied Monica, starting to raise her voice  
  
"Not really" replied Joey, handing the videotape to Chandler, who was standing by the tv  
  
"I DO! I DO!" yelled Phoebe from the other side of the room "it was that day when we were watching that video from your prom day"  
  
"Exactly!, it was then when Rachel realized how much Ross had loved her since they were young, and I was thinking that if we show them how they used to be when they were together, it would bring them back some good old memories and well... you know!" said Monica proundly of her plan  
  
"I still think we should lock them on the roof" suggested Joey "It worked on a movie I saw the other day"  
  
"Really?, what movie was that one?" asked Phoebe  
  
"I don't know... but they couldn't come down, so they started to have sex... it was wild!"  
  
"Hey I saw that one too!" said Chandler before catching a killer look from Monica "a long long long time ago when I was alone and pathetic and used to watch porn... Sorry Mon"  
  
"It looks like some one will be sleeping in the couch today" said Phoebe, laughing at Monica and Chandler "Are you guys sure Rachel has't talked to Ross about the leaving thing?" she asked  
  
"I don't really kno..." Monica's words were interrupted by Ross, Rachel and Emma who were entering to the appartment laughing. "it looks like she hasn't" whispered Monica to Phoebe  
  
"Hey guys... what's up?" asked Ross, carring a sleepy Emma on his arms  
  
"Nothing really, we were about to watch an old video of us that Joey just found... wanna join us?" offered Monica  
  
"Just let me put this little one in bed" said Rachel, taking Emma from Ross' arms  
  
"Can I help you?" asked him  
  
"Of course" she replied "we'll be right back" and the three of them exited the appartment  
  
"Look at them" comented Monica after they had exited "why are they so blind?, they'd make a wonderful family"  
  
"I know that, you know that, but they don't seem to see it quite yet" replied Phoebe who was sitted on one of the chairs in the kitchen area  
  
*~*  
  
Ross put Emma in bed as Rachel watched him. She loved watching him interact with their daughter, he sure loved her as much as she did, that was one of the reasons why, after a week of having take the most important decision of her life she still hasn't told him anything... it was too hard.  
  
"Goodnight my little princess, daddy will come to pick you up tomorrow morning" said Ross kissing Emma on her forehead as Rachel stared at him. "What?" he asked her  
  
"Nothing... nothing... I was just... you know... watching you... you two are so cute" she replied  
  
"You think?" he said shyly as Rachel walked to her closet to get a pair of jeans and a sweater  
  
"Would you mind to wait outside?... I wanna change" she asked him  
  
"yes, of course... don't take long" answer him gently before leaving the room.  
  
He sat alone on the big yellow couch thinking, about everything and nothing at all, he had managed to keep his mind on work, movies he had seen, songs he had heard... anything but her, he didn't allow himself thinking about her anymore, she was out of limits and it was better this way, for both of them... for the three of them actually, beside, he was with Charlie. He realized that very moment that he never thought about Charlie, not even when they were spending time together, his mind was always on any other place, that was why he always forgot to call her or pick her up when he promised "How come she hasn't broken up with me?" he thought  
  
Rachel left the room 10 minutes after Ross did, and saw him sitted on the couch, looking into the space. He was thinking, deep in thoughts she recognized, that's how well she knew him. She sat by his side without saying a word, she didn't want to interrupt him.  
  
Ross didn't hear Rachel, he was on a whole different place, but her sweet vanilla smell brought him suddenly back to reallity realizing she was by his side. How many other times had she been by his side and he hadn't realized it untill it was too late?, he had no idea, those had been the biggest mistakes he had ever made. "Hey, didn't hear you there!" he said  
  
"I know, I didn't want to disturb you" she said as she rested her back on the back of the couch and closed her eyes  
  
"Headache?" he asked  
  
"More like... backache" she replied "this hasn't been an easy week"  
  
"Want me to give you a massage?" he offered her  
  
"A massage?" she asked nervously. Just the idea of Ross' hands rubbing her neck and her shoulders turned her on a little, he had such wonderful and powerful, and yet genlte hands. She had always loved the way he used to touch her and sure didn't want to fall into that again.  
  
"I know how much you love them... come here" he said placing his hands on her shoulders  
  
"I... I really don't think this is such a good idea... I... I mean... we have to go to Monica's" she said slowly giving in  
  
"It won't take more than 5 minutes Rach. Now relax 'cause you are too tense... just relax, let yourself go"  
  
'let myself go?' she thought 'if I'd let myself go we wouldn't be doing this exactly'. She quickly tried to take her mind off Ross' hands on her shoulders "So, what were you thinking about when I entered?"  
  
"Charlie" he answered  
  
Suddenly Rachel felt a bit hurt and jealous, she didn't spect him to answer he was thinking about her as he used to do a long time ago when they were going out. But still, she had never liked Charlie, specially not now. "And how are things with her?" she asked to cover what she was really feeling  
  
"Fine" he answered not very excited  
  
"So... is she 'the one'?" she asked. She always asked him the same thing, everytime he had a new girlfriend, and the answer was always the same one  
  
"Nah... I don't think so" he replied as usual "she's good, but not perfect. Ok, massage done"  
  
Rachel rubbed her neck and it soared a lot less than a couple of minutes ago. She looked at him and smiled "You always say that"  
  
"What?" he asked not knowing what she was talking about  
  
"When I ask you if you think some girl is 'the one', you always answer me saying 'I don't think so'" she said imitating his voice "without giving those poor girls a chance". Suddenly she felt worried, what if she had been one of those 'good but not perfect' girls? What if that was the real reason why he had never tried to get back together?. So she had to ask. "Has... has there ever been... you know... a girl... who you actually... thought was.... you know... perfect" managed to say, not really knowing if she wanted to hear the answer.  
  
"Yes, of course... there was" he replied and then hesitated for a moment, looked deep into her eyes and grabbed her hand. He stood silence for a while and then said: "you"  
  
Rachel stared at him speechless. There she was again, lost in his eyes, he loved those those cute, gentle and once filled with love and devotion for her eyes, and wondered if she could still find that same love and devotion she once knew... and sorprisingly she did. Those eyes that had looked at ger so many times before and in wich she had losed herself so many others still had that same sparkle, still filled her with a warm and peaceful feeling they once did. But yet there was something different in those eyesm but she couldn't tell what it was. It was pain. One of the things Rachel had always admired about Ross' eyes was that you could actually see his soul through them, and now his soul was broken.  
  
"Are you guys comming?" asked out loud Monica, entering to the appartment without knocking, making Ross and Rachel back away really quick "what is taking you so long?  
  
"I'm... I'm sorry Mon" said Rachel trying to put herself together "we... we are coming". Both of them stood up from the couch and followed Monica without saying anything else... the moment had passed  
  
*~*  
  
The time had passed and everybody was really tired an boared  
  
"I swear if I see Richard and you kissing again I'll shoot myself" said Chandler  
  
"you were the one who filmed that... it's not my fault" defended Monica  
  
"Ok... I'm leaving... beside, I have to check on my daughter" said Rachel, who was desesperated for leaving. On the video was an scene where she and Ross were kissing very passionated, and after that intense moment they had shared at her place a couple of hours ago, seeing that kiss really wasn't helping, now she wanted to kiss him even more. But she couldn't fall into that again, she had made a promise to herself 6 months ago, and she was determinated to make it happen  
  
***FLASHBACK***FLASHBACK***  
  
It was their last argument, their last fight, Rachel was sure about that, this was his last chance. She was tired, tired of him thinking she was his propety without even doing anything about them, she wanted be with him, more than anything in the world, and still hasn't lost faith... but now she had had it... if he didn't tell anything now she would just leave and never look back... if he didn't say anything about it she would defenetly move on forever  
  
"We said that we would, we would live together as long as this makes sense. An maybe this, you know, just doesn't make sense anymore" she said trying to give him the last chance to stop her  
  
"Yeah, maybe not. So what do you wanna do?" He replied. And that was it... at least for her  
  
"Emma and I will move out... I can't keep living with you anymore... I'm sorry" she managed to say fighting her tears. She didn't want him to see her cry, she wouldn't let him to see her hurt, it wasn't worth it anymore, nothing of this was worth it anymore.  
  
She entered her room, took a couple of bags and started filled them with some of her clothes and some of Emma's while she cried. She would come to pick the rest when she had cooled off.  
  
Rachel sat on her bed for a while and looked at Emma's crib "I'm sorry honey... it just didn't work". And she cried again... she was so tired of getting hurt by Ross... maybe he didn't love her anymore, and she had just made ilussions of something that once was but will never be again. But this time it was over, she would defentetly move on, "this is the last time I'll cry for him" she swear as she wiped her tears before taking a still sleeping Emma off her crib and puting her on her stroller.  
  
***END FLASHBACK***END FLASHBACK***  
  
Rachel walked into her appartment followed by Monica  
  
"Are you ok Rach?" she asked  
  
"Yeah" answered Rachel "just a bit tired... that's all"  
  
"Are you sure?" insisted Monica  
  
"Yes, just need to catch some sleep, this has been a pretty rough week"  
  
"Are you sure there isn't anything else?" insisted again Monica  
  
"NO MON!" said Rachel losing her patience  
  
"Then can you explain me those weird looks between you and my brother" asked Monica seriously  
  
"It was nothing ok... it was wierd watching us kissing on the tv... that's all"  
  
"Weird?... as in... 'I miss doing that' kind of weird?" asked Monica filled with hope that her plan had worked out  
  
"No... weird as in... he's my friend and we haven't been a couple in such a long time. I mean... wasn't weird for you watching you kissing Richard?"  
  
"yeah, but that's a whole different thing Rach. After I broke up with him we never got together again, or got married or had a daughter... you two did. Or are you gonna tell me you don't miss kissing my brother at all?"  
  
Rachel looked at Monica, she couldn't lie to her best friend, kissing Ross again had been in her head the whole night, specially after watching in on tv "you know what... I remember that kiss" she said  
  
"Really?" replied Monica surprised "I don't even remember the last kiss Chandler gave me, and that was like 30 minutes ago"  
  
"I have a lot of memories from that time... I think I have more memories from that time than from any other moment on my life" said Rachel with a nostalgic tone on her voice  
  
*~*  
  
"Chandler, you are out of beers" said Ross looking inside the fridge  
  
"Really?... all of them?"  
  
"Yeah, we pretty much finnished them all"  
  
"Go to my place, I think we still have a package there" suggested Joey  
  
"Great idea man!" said Ross and walked to Joey's appartment.  
  
Ross opened the door and listen to Rachel and Monica's conversation  
  
"I have a lot of memories from that time... I think I have more memories from that time than from any other moment on my life" he heared Rachel said. Was she talking about the time when they were together?  
  
"Well, I've read somewhere that people tend to keep the happiest memories of their lifes and erase the bad ones.... you were pretty happy with Ross... I remember that" said Monica and a smile appeared on Ross' face, they were indeed talking about the time they were together  
  
"I was, pretty happy... that's true" suddenly Rachel saw Ross standing by the door "Ross?!" she said kind of surprised and scared, 'did he hear anything of what we were talking about?' she thought  
  
"I...I just came to... to pick up some bears" he managed to say  
  
"Ow... ok then... I'm going to bed... bye Mon"  
  
"Bye Rach"  
  
"Bye Ross"  
  
"Good night Rach" said him smiling at her. She smiled him back and then entered to her bedroom  
  
Noticing the 'interaction' between her friend and her brother she smiled to herself.... "mission archived" she said to herself and left the appartment  
  
TO BE CONTINUED.... 


	5. Heartaches 5

HEARTACHE - Chapter 5  
  
"What's with the face?" asked Rachel as Ross entered her appartment  
  
"Charlie and I just broke up" he answered  
  
"I'm sorry honey, are you ok?" she asked again rubbing his back  
  
"Yeah, I guess. I should have seen this comming though, I have been an awful boyfriend"  
  
"Wanna talk about it?" said Rachel sitting on the big yellow couch. He nodded, talking to her always cheered him up.  
  
He sat next to her and watched Emma, who was playing with some fluffy toys. "Hey princess" he said standing from the couch, leaning to kiss his daughter.  
  
Rachel smiled, she knew that for him their daughter was above everything, even himself, even his own happiness. That's why she thought he would understand her reason to leave if she managed to explain them well, he'd known that it was the best for both of them and for Emma. But she couldn't do it now, not after he had been dumped by his girlfriend. 'What a b¡tch!" she thought "she has no idea what she had". But that was just un excuse. The truth was, she didn't wanna tell him, she wanted to stay with him. That was other of the reasons why she had to leave.  
  
Ross sitted by her side on the couch again "she gets bigger by day huh!" he commented  
  
"Yes, she shouldn't grow up so fast"  
  
And then there was a silence as both of them watched their little girl playing. This little moments made them feel like the family they would like to be.  
  
After a while Rachel finally asked: "and why did you break up?"  
  
"What?" asked Ross lost  
  
"You and Charlie... why did you break up?"  
  
"Things weren't working" was all he said, and it was the truth. How could things work if he didn't love her and was thinking of Rachel the whole time?. He had lost the ability he had devoloped in the past of putting his feelings aside, he was tired of lying to himself.  
  
"Let me guess" she said playfully "she dumpled you because you started being the 'jealous' and 'possessive' you?"  
  
Ross looked at her. Was that the way she saw him?, as 'jealous' and 'possessive'?. He hadn't been any of those things with Charlie. In fact, he hadn't been those things with any other girlfriend beside Rachel. "No, it was more the other way around" he answer. Charlie had got mad at him cause he was going to go with Rachel to his parents dinner and not with her. "My mother invited her, she's the mother of my daughter and one of my best friends for God sakes!" he had told her. "But it looks like you like spending time with her more than you like spending time with me" had replied Charlie. Ross didn't say anything back, she was true, what else could he do?. Then she had said "this is over", and he didn't even fell sad.  
  
"What do you mean?" asked Rachel  
  
"She was jealous and possessive, an american version of Emily" he said smiling a bit. Rachel had hated Emily ever since day one... same thing had happened with Charlie  
  
"Really?... that bad huh?"  
  
"Yes" he nodded "but let's not talk about it. It wasn't a big deal, it's better this way"  
  
"But are you ok honey?, you look sad"  
  
"I'm ok, really. I wasn't in love with her or anything. She was just hot and smart... nothing more". He wasn't sad because of his break up with Charlie, he was sad because now he would be on his own, and that made him think about Rachel even more. He tried to get rid of those thoughts and change the topic. "Are you gonna go dressing like that?" he asked her  
  
"Go?, where?". Rachel was wearing shorts and a t-shirt, and had her hair messy and in two pigtails  
  
"To my parents'. They invided us and Chandler and Monica for dinner. I told you about yesterday, my mom even called you"  
  
"Oh God!... I forgot!!... can you watch Emma?. I'm gonna take a shower. At what time do we have to be there?" she asked running from place to place  
  
"At 9"  
  
"ok, that gives me 2 hours to get ready. Can you change Emma? My God, how could I forgot?"  
  
"Relax Rach" he said smiling, she was always worried when it comes to Ross' parents, just like she was when they were going out. Although they had known her since she was a little girl and loved her like she was their daughter, she had always wanted to give a good impression. Ross' mother knew that, and that was one of the reasons why she loved her so much. She had always thought that Rachel and her Ross should be togehter, and had let him known that a million times "I can't force her to do anything she doesn't want to do mom" was the last thing he had answered to her. "That's true, but I bet she want this as much as you do son, I can see it in her eyes. But she is as stubborn as you. All I'm saying is that you have to do something quick, before it's too late. Now it's the right time". And how right his mother had been. Two days after that conversation he and Rachel had gotten into that huge fight that made him lose her forever.  
  
*~*  
  
"SHE'S A GENIOUS!!" yelled Monica after hanging on the phone  
  
"honey, you're screaming" said Chandler reading the newspaper  
  
"I'm telling you Chandler, that woman is a GENIOUS!!"  
  
"Who?" he asked putting the newspaper down and looking at his wife  
  
"My mother"  
  
"Yesterday she was a witch, now she's a genious?"  
  
"She's still a witch, but she invited Rachel today!!"  
  
"So?" he asked her lost  
  
"Today's my mom's birthday"  
  
"So?"  
  
"All my parents friends think that Ross and Rachel are married"  
  
"So?"  
  
"Chandler, COULD YOU PLEASE USE YOUR BRAIN? This means they'll have to act like a couple all night!  
  
"Mon, are you still on that?, it's being ONE MONTH, and nothing. Don't you think that they would have gotten back together already if they really wanted to? Beside, Rachel hasn't told anything to Ross about the moving to LA thing, or to any of us for that matter. Maybe she's not leaving" replied Chandler, going back to read his newspaper. "Wait a minute, when you said 'your parents friends'... does that includes to Mr Moustacho too?"  
  
"I have no idea if Richard is going. And of course she won't tell us anything before talking to Ross, wich I'm sure she's waiting for the right time to do so. She still has a month and a half. Joey said she is leaving two weeks after Phoebe's wedding... But she won't leave Chandler, I swear to God she won't!"  
  
"She won't what?" asked Ross entering to the appartment with Emma by his hand  
  
"She won't... she won't... she won't... work there anymore!!... I was talking about a girl from the restaurant... ah!... yeah, that it was"  
  
"Ok... we actually came here to ask you guys if you are going on the porshe?"  
  
"I... I guess so" answered Monica  
  
"Can we go with you guys?"  
  
"Yeah why not?" replied Chandler  
  
"But you'll have to be ready in an hour... I DON'T WANNA BE LATE!!"  
  
"Of course, let me go tell Rachel"  
  
"And tell her we won't wait for her!"  
  
*~*  
  
Ross entered to Rachel and Joey's, Rachel was exiting the bathroom wearing just a towel. He stared at her mesmerized. After a couple of seconds Rachel smiled at him, noticing the expression on his face "Yes?" she said  
  
"Uhm... I... I... just... I came to... to uhm... to tell you that... Chandler and Monica are gonna drive us" rambled Ross. He realized he had been looking at her for too long and blushed "I'm... I'm sorry" he said lowing his eyes.  
  
Rachel smiled more, she couldn't deny she liked to still have that power over Ross. "I'm gonna hurry then" she said before going into her room  
  
"Ok" he replied staring at her once again, even after she closed her room door  
  
*~*  
  
"Kids! Welcome!" greeted Judy Geller as Chandler, Monica, Rachel, Ross and Emma entered to the house. The four of them noticed that the palce was filled with people, Rachel approached to Ross, who had Emma spleeping on his arms and asked "wasn't this just a dinner?"  
  
"I thought so too" replied Ross confused "I had no idea so many people were gonna come. Look, even Richard is here" he said pointing to the other side of the room  
  
"Ross, Rachel, why don't you put Emma on my bed and join us?" suggested Judy  
  
"Yes, of... of course mom". Ross and Rachel went upstairs as Judy looked at them  
  
"you think this is going to work?" she heared Monica asking her from behind  
  
"It's worth the shot"  
  
*~*  
  
Ross and Chandler were talking on the living room, cause Chandler was freaking out by Richard's presence on the party and had had a little fight with Monica about it after she went to say 'hi' to him  
  
"Chill out man. There was a reason why she married you and not him" conforted him Ross  
  
"I know... I know, but I can't help it"  
  
"Ross?" said a lady from behind Chandler's back "Hello dear, how are you?"  
  
"Aunt Sylvia. Hi!. Have you met Chandler?, he's Monica's husband"  
  
"Hi Chandler" she greeted. Chandler just smiled back at her. He wasn't used to this family life having lived his entire life in a broken family. "Where's your wife kid?, I haven's said hello to her"  
  
"Monica's over there" answered Chandler, pointing to the backyard  
  
"Not Monica, I was asking for Ross' wife" she corrected him  
  
"Wich one?" joked Chandler  
  
"My... wife?" sair Ross remembering the last time he had seen hin aunt Sylvia. It had been two years ago on his parents annyversary party. She believed Rachel was his wife, just like almost his entire family. He smiled to himself, that night being married to her had been fun, maybe this night would be fun too. "She's over there aunt, with Monica" he answer  
  
Chandler looked at him "your wife? Rachel? Are you crazy?" said after aunt Sylvia left, thinking that everything was working the way Monica and her mother had planned  
  
"She believes we are married ok?... I'm not going to tell her we are not"  
  
*~*  
  
Aund Sylvia approached to Monica and Rachel who were standing next to the pool talking  
  
"Aunt Sylvia!, hi!" said Monica  
  
"Hello Monica dear"  
  
"Do you remember Rachel aunt?"  
  
"Of course I remember her. You are Ross' wife. How's the baby dear?"  
  
"Ross' wife?" asked Rachel, looking at Monica confused. Suddenly Ross grabbed her by the arm "excuse me for a second" she said "I... I need to talk to my... uhm... husband??"  
  
"Why does your aunt think I'm your wife?" she asked him once they were on a corner where no one could hear them  
  
"Remember my parents annyversary 2 years ago? My mom told everyone we were married, and it looks like no one has denyed that.... yet" he explained.  
  
Rachel gave him a disapproval look  
  
"Would you please just play along?... for tonight?... I'll fix it, I promise"  
  
"Ok, I'll do it. It was fun the first time and we made a lot of money" she said smiling "hubbie"  
  
*~*  
  
"Now that was fun" said Rachel laughing as she entered her appartment with Ross who was carring Emma's stroller "Being married to you is fun... did you see the look on that guy's face when we told him we went zafari on our honeymoon?"  
  
"Yeah... he tought we were crazy"  
  
"well... we kind of are" she said looking into his eyes. Both got locked on an intense moment, and for a second Rachel thought Ross was gonna lean in and kiss her, she was sure she wouldn't back off, she wanted to kiss him. "We are pretty happy" he had said to a guy on Judy's party "I always knew that once we got married it would be forever, and everyday it's like we were still on our honeymoon". She was sure that would be the way it would be if they were actually married, if both of them had managed to fight each others fears. But that wasn't the case.  
  
"I.... I better put Emma into bed" she managed to say  
  
"Yeah... and I better get going... Thank you for everything, and I swear I'll fix it"  
  
"Don't" she said smiling "I like it this way"  
  
"Yeah... me too"  
  
Both stare at each other for a while, and finally Ross leaned in and kissed her. She just let herself go, enjoying the moment.... enjoying the feeling of Ross' hands on her back, and his lips on hers. She had longged for this moment for so long, and now that it had finally happened she didn't want it to end. She forgot about the fight, she forgot about the 'break', she forgot about her promise and she forgot about LA. In than moment all she could think of was Ross.  
  
"Rach?" said Joey from his bedroom door, rubbing his eyes "is that you?"  
  
At the sound of Joey's voice Ross and Rachel broke the kiss. If Joey had seen them, they had no idea.  
  
"Yes Joe... I was... I was... just... saying good night to Ross" she replied nervously  
  
"Good... good night Rach" said Ross without looking at her  
  
"Good night Ross"  
  
"Bye Joe" said Ross before leaving the appartment  
  
TO BE CONTINUE.... I'm so evil I'm so sorry for leaving you there. I know what you are thinking... damn Joey... the one night he had to wake up... but the tension and expectation makes this whole thing more interesting... I'll update tomorrow night with the next chapter... please KEEP REVIEWING to know if you are liking this fic so far ;) 


	6. Heartaches 6

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for your wonderful reviews... keep them coming, keep them coming... and don't worry, as long as there are new ideas in my head I'll keep writing about Ross and Rachel ;), I love the other characters in the show... but R&R are the best... I mean... well... I better shut up... I'm rambling too much.... you probably don't wanna read me rambling about Ross and Rachel.... so let's get down to bussiness shall we?.... here's the new chapter... PLEASE REVIEW...  
  
HEARTACHE - Chapter 6  
  
Rachel was sitting on Central Perk by herself having a coffe. "What did that mean?" she asked to herself. For the past 12 hours she hasn't been able to take the kiss she and Ross shared the previous night off her mind. They hadn't kissed in more than a year, and she was sure nothing else was going to happen between them. She had promised to herself. But now here she was again, thinking about him like a teenage girl with a crush, sleepless and drowning in many thoughts of all the things that could happen from now on.  
  
She was sure of one thing. If Ross had finaly made his mind and this was IT, she wouldn't go anywhere... why would she?. If this was IT, she would finally had everything she had ever wanted. If this was IT, she would finally have Ross, she would finally be happy again.  
  
She smiled. Maybe this was the new begining she had been looking for, kind of different than the one she had thought, but much better  
  
"Rachel?... hi" She heard someone saying from behind the couch. It took her a while to recognize who it was. It was Charlie's voice  
  
"Charlie... hi" said Rachel turning around and giving her the best fake smile she could. She couldn't stand her  
  
"Have you seen Ross?" asked Charlie on a sweet tone that made Rachel want to puke  
  
"Ross?... no... why?  
  
"I need to talk to him about something"  
  
"I heard you guys broke up" said Rachel faking a concert tone in her voice. "Too bad" added sarcasticly  
  
"Yeah well... exactly about that is what I wanna talk to him about"  
  
"Re... Really?" asked Rachel, kind of worried "do you wanna get back together or something?"  
  
"Yes, I really do. I shouldn't have said what I said. I know you guys are friends... it's just that... because of Emma you spend so much time together, and everything gets a bit complicated"  
  
"wow wow wow wow wow. You broke up with him because of me?" asked proudly Rachel  
  
"Yes... I know it was silly, you guys are friends"  
  
"Yes, we are friends" said Rachel "a bit more than friends" she thought to herself  
  
"That's why I need to talk to him"  
  
"Good luck then" said finally Rachel sarcasticly  
  
"Thanks" replied Charlie before leaving the coffehouse  
  
*~*  
  
Ross didn't know what to do, or what to think. That kiss had took him by surpirse. He didn't spect it at all. And now he was confused. Did she want him back? Or was it just the excitment of the moment?. After all, a couple of months ago she had dated Joey, and seemed totally over him. Until last night, he was sure he had lost her forever, and suddenly, out of the blue, they had kissed again. What should he do? Should he go and tell her what he felt? Or should he just keep everything to himself once again?. Keeping all to himself? He wasn't so sure he would be able to do that, specially not after that kiss.  
  
There was a knocking in his office door. For a second he thought it was Rachel and smiled. But he was mistaken. It was Charlie.  
  
"May I help you?" he asked polite. He wasn't mad at her or even hurt, in fact, he was thankful, cause her words had helped him realize something he already knew, but hadn't really accepted until she said it. He could never love another woman the way he loved Rachel.  
  
"Ross, I wanna talk to you"  
  
"About what?... I thought you were pretty clear yesterday. You said this was over"  
  
"I know I said that. But you have to understand, your situation with Rachel isn't something so easy to get use to" she explained  
  
"But..."  
  
"But" she interrumpted him "But now I understand it. You are just friends. It was a silly thing acting the way I did"  
  
"No, it wa..." he tried to explain her again  
  
"No Ross... I was wrong... even Rachel think so"  
  
"What?" asked Ross confused "you... you talked to Rachel?... when?"  
  
"Today. I was looking for you. She was on the coffe place..."  
  
"And... and she told you we were just friends?"  
  
"Yes... she even wished me luck when I told her I was gonna try to fix things up with you"  
  
Ross felt his heart breaking once again, he didn't even know it still had pieces to break. The kiss had ment nothing to her... how could he be so stupid "I see" he said softly  
  
"So?" asked Charlie smiling  
  
"So what?" he asked her, fighting the tears that were forming in his eyes  
  
"Can you forgive me for what I said yesterday?"  
  
"Yes... of course I can, you are forgiven" He smiled at her and quickly looked away  
  
"Sooo, we are back together then?" she said seductively aproaching to him  
  
"No" he replied quickly, with his eyes fixed on the door  
  
"What?" she asked him hurt  
  
"I'm sorry... but I really, really, really need to be on my own"  
  
*~*  
  
***FLASHBACKS***FLASHBACKS***  
  
Rachel woke up a bit dizzy. It took her a while to realize where she was and recolect what had happened the night before. She look by her right side and saw Ross sleeping. She smiled. It had been so long since the last time she woke up by his side, but she hadn't forgoten the feeling.  
  
Last night had been a bit crazy. She had came home worried cause she had forgoten to send the invitations to Monica and Chandler's wedding. She only had until the next day in the morning to do so, or the invitations would never arrived on time. And she hadn't even adressed them!.  
  
Luckyly for her Ross had been there when she arrived and offered to help her while they drak a glass of wine.  
  
The night went through, the invitations where addressed on their envelops and the glass of wine had become a bottle and a half. Feeling a little bit drunk, Rachel let all her inivitions away and came on to Ross on a very slight way, so if anyone would ever ask she'd say he came on to her. No one else knew the Europe story anyway.  
  
The truth was she wanted to be with him, she wanted to have that bonus night they had talked about on Monica and Chandler's engagement night. She wanted to have sex with him once again, but not for the sex itself, but for the feeling of being with Ross.  
  
She had always thought that Ross and her would he the first ones, and maybe the only ones, in the gang to marry each other. It was the way she assumed this whole crazy story was going to end. And seeing how happy and comminted to each other Chandler and Monica were, made her think about how far away from that and from each other Ross and her were. Maybe this night would help them to get closer again. Maybe this would help to stay together again, but this time.... forever.  
  
She looked at him once again and stroke his hair. He started to wake up  
  
"Hey you" she said smiling  
  
"Hey..." replied Ross, looking at her with a confused look on his face  
  
"How did you sleep?" she asked him sweetly  
  
"Ok I guess.... God.... I have a terrible headache.... how much wine did we drink?" asked Ross rubbing his temple  
  
"A bottle, or two... I'm not sure. Do you want an aspirin with your breakfast?" asked Rachel waking up from the bed and putting her robe on  
  
"What time it is?"  
  
"Nine..... thirty" she replied looking at her watch  
  
"I better get going then.... we don't want Joey to see me, right?"  
  
Rachel looked at him hurt. "Right" she replied looking down.  
  
Ross got dressed while Rachel was in the kitchen making herself some breakfast  
  
"Are you sure you don't want something to eat?" he asked him when he left her room wearing his pants and a white t-shirt "I'm sure Joey won't wake up in a couple of hours"  
  
"I'm possitive" he replied. He knew by the tone in her voice and the look in her eyes that there was something bothering her. "Rach... last night was wonderful, and you know you'd never be just one night stand thing for me. But we don't wanna go down that road, right?" he said lifting her chin  
  
Rachel looked at him, into his beautiful and sparkling brown eyes. Probably he was right, going down that road again would have been too complicated, no matter how much she wanted it. "You're right" she said, smiling at him weakly. "Let's just leave it at one night thing no one has to know about".  
  
He looked into her eyes, took hold her face with his hand and kissed her very softly on the lips.  
  
"Bye Rach" he said before leaving the appartment  
  
"Bye" she replied softly. And the weirdest feeling filled her. The feeling of having lost something very dear to her, and at the same time winning something else. She couldn't understand what it was. "Weird" she thought. But that night she had won the biggest price of her life. Emma.  
  
***END FLASHBACK***END FLASHBACK***  
  
Rachel looked at her daughter who was sleeping peacefully. She couldn't stop thinking about the night she had been concived. The morning after that night she had made so many ilusions about getting back together with Ross once and for all, but he had managed to crash them all down. Just like he had just done that evening.  
  
"It was a mistake Rachel. We were just caught in the moment. We should becareful, you know... for Emma" he had said.  
  
She was so sure this was going to be IT, she had let her hopes get so high, but then again, Ross had managed to break them all down, along with her heart once again just because. She had broken the promise she had made to herself and that had costed her just another heartache. But it was over. This time was truely over. There was no going back now. She would leave New York after Phoebe's wedding and never look back. She would get Ross out of her life and out of her heart once and for all.  
  
*~*  
  
Ross laid on his bed sleepless. Rachel only saw him as a friend, Charlie had told him that. How could he had been so stupid to actually thing she wanted to get back together with him?.  
  
"Yeah, I understand you. Actually I was gonna tell you the same thing. It was a mistake" she had said to him without even looking at his face.  
  
He had gone to talk to her about the kiss and to clear everything up before she did it, that way he could keep his pride and she would get rid of the thins thing without feeling guilty. He didn't want to bother her in anyway. All he wanted was her happiness... nothing more, but he had no idea how far she was from that.  
  
TO BE CONTINUE....  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
dum dum dummmmm.... hehehe.... I'm stopping now.... I know it was a sad chapter.... but well.... you know how this love thing is... specially when it comes to Ross and Rachel ... they've never made things easy for each other   
  
Please read and review... as usual.... .... knowing that you are reading this made me really really happy....  
  
I'll try to make a happier chapter the next time. but I can't promise you anything. I'm trying to keep the tension 'till the very end. wich it doesn't mean nothing else Hill happen between Ross and Rachel. you just have to wait and see ;). 


	7. Heartaches 7

Thanks for your wonderful reviews =) I'm really happy you are liking this so much. Now to the story. --------------------------------------------  
  
HEARTACHES - CHAPTER 7  
  
Ross was sited on the big brown couch in his apartment. Phoebe's wedding was already here, and he was all dressed up with his tuxedo and ready to pick up his date for the evening. Rachel. It wasn't a real date actually, as both of them were the only ones dateless of the group, Phoebe suggested them to go together "you know each other, you like each other. it's perfect!" she had said when they were all hanging out on the coffee place the a couple of days before. And both of them agreed, probably cause they were too polite to say no in front of the other, or cause it was Phoebe's idea and it was Phoebe's wedding.  
  
"Ok man, you have to put yourself together, this isn't a real date" he said to himself as he stood up from the couch and left the apartment  
  
He wasn't sure why, but Rachel had seemed kind of distant lately. After they kissed, over a month ago, she had started acting different with him, avoiding him, not looking straight into his eyes and talking to him just when it was extremely necessary and only about Emma. She has said she wanted them to be only friends, but she was acting like she was hurt. Ross couldn't understand why  
  
"Hey" he greeted nervously as she opened the door "ready to go?"  
  
"Give me just a second. I'll finish my make up and we'll be on our way" she said entering to the bathroom  
  
"you. you look terrific in that dress" he said, trying to break the ice, trying to return to the way they used to be  
  
"Thanks" was everything Rachel replied from the bathroom  
  
Ross sited on Joey's chair and sighed, this was gonna be a long night  
  
"My mom came to pick up Emma like an hour ago. I told her we would go for her after the party" she said as she grabbed her purse and her coat from the sofa  
  
"No problem" replied Ross, taking her coat and helping her to put it on  
  
"Thanks" replied Rachel. Ross smiled. That probably would be the longest conversation they would share the entire night he thought  
  
Rachel left the apartment after Ross did. He had gone to get a cab while she called her mother on the phone to tell her they were on their way to the party. She could have easily done that by her cell phone on the cab, but she rather do it on her home phone cause that way she would have a couple of extra minutes to put herself together and think once again about the whole thing. It had been a month already, but the wound soared like it had been made yesterday. She had tried to avoid Ross, cause seeing him still hurt like hell.  
  
She had talked to Monica a couple of days after the 'incident', and now she was the only one who knew how hurt and tired of fighting she was, and the one who supported her with the LA thing. "I guess you are right" Monica has said "The only way I could move on from Richard was not seeing him again. It hurt, but after a while, the pain, the hurt and the love went away, and before I knew it I was falling in love again. But Rach, please, don't run away from your problems, that would only make them worst. If you decide to go to LA I will support you, but I still think you need to talk this through with my brother. You could make a mistake that you won't be able to repair in the future". Monica's words made complete sense, but nothing that Ross could tell her would make her stay, nothing would make her stay.  
  
"The cab is waiting" said Ross from the door  
  
"Ok, let's go"  
  
*~*  
  
The ceremony started a bit late because of Mike's parents. Monica, who was the maid of honor, was more than pissed about it. But beside that little incident everything turned out wonderful. Phoebe was walked down the altar by Frank Jr, as her 5 friends watched her smiling widely. Rachel had even cried, in fact, she cried the whole ceremony.  
  
"I love weddings" said Ross when the ceremony ended  
  
"We all know that buddy, we all know that" replied Chandler  
  
Phoebe approached to the rest of the gang. She was feeling so happy, probably happier than she'd ever felt in her entire life. "Can you believe I'm married?" she asked excited "I never thought I would be.I mean not for real"  
  
"we are very happy for you Phoebs, you guys are gonna be so happy together" said Rachel as she hugged her friend  
  
"Marrying someone you love is the best feeling in the world, knowing that you're gonna share the rest of your life with that person" Ross sigh thinking in the one thing he'll never have with Rachel  
  
"And he KNOWS about marriages" said Chandler sarcastically  
  
Everybody laughed, everybody but Rachel who just smiled. She was feeling down. Ross probably was right, knowing that you're gonna share everything for the rest of your life with the one person you love must be one of the best feelings in the world. He should have felt that when he married Carol and Emily, but he was too drunk to feel anything when he married her, he was too drunk to even know what he was doing. Monica noticed Rachel's sad look.  
  
"Are you ok sweety?" she asked dragging Rachel to a corner  
  
"yeah" she replied without lifting her eyes from the ground  
  
"Rach, come on" insisted Monica  
  
"It's nothing Mon. I was. I was just thinking about what Ross just said, you know?. and it made me feel kind of sad cause I have no idea what's that like, and probably never will."  
  
"Rach. Rachel look at me" Rachel lifted her head and faced Monica "it will happen to you. I know it"  
  
"Monica, please. I'm 34 years old, I have a daughter and I'm still in love with a guy who has broken my heart so many times that I already lost count. There's no way that can happen to me. Look, maybe I only had one opportunity of getting married, and that was with Barry, and this are the consequences"  
  
"You didn't marry Barry because you didn't love him"  
  
"I know"  
  
"Would you like to have a marriage without love?"  
  
"No" replied Rachel looking down again  
  
"Hey, what's wrong?" asked Ross approaching to where the girls were. He had seen the sad look on Rachel's eyes from where he was standing. He hated to see her that way "are you ok Rach?"  
  
Monica saw this as probably the last opportunity Ross and Rachel had to solve everything. She knew how hurt Rachel was, but still couldn't lose hope of seeing her friend and her brother together again "I'm gonna leave you guys alone" she said smiling  
  
"What?, no. Everything's ok Ross. Monica, what the hell are you doing?" said Rachel with a confused tone in her voice. What was Monica trying to do?, she had no idea, but it wouldn't work that was for sure  
  
"Nothing. Chandler is calling me. excuse me" she lied and left quickly, leaving Ross and Rachel confused.  
  
Both stood silent for a while, just staring t the floor, avoiding the eye contact.  
  
"I'm gonna go to my table" said suddenly Rachel before walking away from Ross  
  
"Rachel wait" said Ross, grabbing her by the arm  
  
"What do you want Ross?" Rachel stopped walking, but didn't turn around  
  
"Look at me"  
  
"What?" she asked again as she turned around, now she was facing Ross but not looking straight to him  
  
"Can you please tell me what's the matter?"  
  
Rachel finally lifted her eyes and looked at him. How could he be so blind? Didn't he see that everything in her life was screw up because of him?. probably don't. "Nothing Ross, really"  
  
"Then why have you been avoiding me and been so bitchie with me lately?"  
  
"Bitchie?" she thought "it's the only way I can keep you away" she wanted to yell at him, but instead she lowed her eyes again and remained silent  
  
"You are not gonna answer me?" he said a bit pissed "ok, have it your way. I don't wanna know anyway. I don't care, but could you please at least pretend you like me?, at least for tonight?, at least for Phoebe?"  
  
Rachel nodded, feeling tears forming in her eyes  
  
"Ok, let's go to our table now. and let's start pretending"  
  
*~*  
  
Phoebe, Mike, Joey, his date, Chandler, Monica, Rachel and Ross were sited on the main table, there weren't many guest, just 3 or 4 other tables, but everybody seemed to be having a great time, everybody but Ross and Rachel. Phoebe sensed the tension between them. She was as tired as the rest of the group of seeing them dying of love for each other, but being so stubborn and proud that none of them wanted to say it first. She was also tired of seeing each other get hurt for the same reasons. They were destinated to be together, Phoebe felt it, she knew it. She had always believed in them, and she still did, that had been the reason why she insisted them to come to her wedding together, cause maybe spending some quality time together would help them to enjoy each other company once again  
  
"Why don't we go dancing?" said Phoebe to the rest of the people in the table  
  
"Phoebs. I. I don't dance" replied Mike  
  
"Oooh. but you will. let's go" Phoebe stood up and dragged Mike to the dance floor  
  
"you know what?, that's a good idea. Let's go Chandler" said Monica also standing up  
  
"Are you sure? What about the 'i'll never dance with you again' that you told me on my office party two years ago?"  
  
"People can change. Beside, this is Phoebe's wedding, it's an special ocation"  
  
"Ok, but if everybody starts laughing and pointing it will be your fault" replied Chandler and both of them left the table followed by Joey and his date  
  
Ross and Rachel were left on the table on their own. Once in a while they would look at each other when the other wasn't looking.  
  
"What a great group of friends we have" commented Ross trying to start a conversation  
  
"Mmmmm" was everything Rachel said, and both of them went back to avoid each other's eyes by looking at the rest of the gang dancing  
  
*~*  
  
Phoebe looked at Ross and Rachel on the table "what's wrong with them?" she said out loud  
  
"With whom?" asked Mike  
  
"With Ross and Rachel, they've been on the table alone for over 30 minutes, but they don't even look at each other. They should be at least talking, or laughing, or arguing. you know. being Ross and Rachel. We should do something"  
  
"Phoebe, I don't think we should." refuted Mike, but Phoebe shushed him  
  
"Those two had never been able to do anything on their own"  
  
Phoebe and Mike approached to the table  
  
"Hey you guys!! Why are you here so boarded" said Phoebe  
  
"I'm not. I'm not boarded" said Rachel before yawning "Sorry"  
  
"I'm sorry to ruin your personal party, but why don't you join us on the dance floor?"  
  
"Oh no no no no. I'm definitely on a dancing kind of mood" protested Ross  
  
"Come on!, this is my wedding, you are my best friends, my family. I don't want you to be sitting here the whole night. Now move your fat asses to that damn dance floor or I'll curse you!!"  
  
Ross and Rachel looked at each other for the first time in a while. She smiled to him a little to let him know she wasn't really mad at him, one dance wouldn't kill them.  
  
"Ok, but just because of you Phoebs.. and just one dance" said Rachel standing up  
  
"YAY!" exclaimed Phoebe and her and Mike went back to the dancefloor  
  
Once Phoebe was far enough from them Ross said "I know you are doing this just because of Phoebe" Rachel looked at him "but thank you, I really wanted to dance with you, but I had no idea how to ask you"  
  
Rachel smiled "Just like when we were on High school" she said  
  
Ross laugh "yeah, exactly like when we were on High school. Some things don't change, no matter how hard we tried" he replied, not talking about his high school shyness anymore  
  
"I know. Some things are just destinated to be the way they are" added Rachel, not talking about high school either  
  
Both reached the dance floor and started to dance, very shy at first. They hadn't done that in a long time, and felt like they were making a complete fool of themselves. Both just felt like everybody was starting at them, but they didn't know if it was because of their lousy skills as dancers or just because they were so close together. Whichever was the case, they felt really intimidated.  
  
*~*  
  
"Would you look at them dancing? They look so happy when they are together like that" said Monica to Chandler, both were dancing just a couple or two away from Ross and Rachel, who after four songs seemed to have lost all their inhibitions, fears and insecurities and were dancing pretty close  
  
"I hope it works this time"  
  
"Yeah. me too"  
  
*~*  
  
Rachel lifted her head from Ross' chest just to caught him looking at her really sweetly. She felt so secure when she was in his arms, and so loved when he looked at her that way. "Calm down Rach. it's just your imagination, Ross doesn't love you anymore, at least not that way" she said to herself and buried her head on his chest once again. She would just pretend he did, at least for now, at least for tonight  
  
Ross smiled, having Rachel on his arms was the best feeling in the world. He would do anything to be able to do this everyday, just hug her and see her smiling at him. That smile he loved so much. All the love and devotion he felt for her made her want to protect her every single moment. Now, with her on his arms, he felt like a knight who was defending a castle from a dragon, he was small and weak, and the chances of getting hurt or even killed were high, but he didn't care, because the cause was worth it. For Rachel he would give his life, his soul, his everything.  
  
The song finished and they stopped dancing, but remained locked on a sweet hug. When they realized they were still hugging even when the music was already gone they blushed and stepped back.  
  
"That. that was nice" she said "thanks"  
  
"You. you are welcome" replied Ross  
  
"Rach. Rach. I need to ask you a favor!!" said very excited Joey, who appeared suddenly at her side  
  
"Of course Joe, what's up?"  
  
"Well. Kelly said she wants to go to my place to do some dirty things I had no idea she liked to do, like."  
  
"No details, please Joe"  
  
"Ok, well. I was wondering if you. well. don't mind. you know?"  
  
"It's ok, you can go and do all the weird sex things that you like, I'll ask Monica if I can stay at her place"  
  
"Uhm. Rach. Monica and Chandler just left" said Joey  
  
"Really?. ok, that can be a problem"  
  
"You can stay in my place if you want" offered Ross shyly  
  
Joey smiled "ok, problem solved then. thank you very much Rach" he said and left before Rachel could say anything. She turned around and smiled nervously at Ross. She would be staying at his place the whole night.THAT would be a problem  
  
TO BE CONTINUE.  
  
This was a sucky chapter... well... maybe not that sucky, but nothing much happened cause the good stuff is yet to come on the next one. PLEASE KEEP REVIEWING... I love reading what you have to say =) 


	8. Heartaches 8

Not much talking, this is actually one of my favourite chapters from the whole fic. thanks for reading it and for replaying for those who had replied ;). Now to the story.  
  
HEARTACHES - CHAPTER 8  
  
Rachel stood in front of Ross' door and sighed. That was going to be a hard and long night. She had gone to her apartment to change and pick up some clothes for the next day. She hadn't wanted to disturb Joey's date, so she left really quick. Standing there she realized she didn't bring her pijamas. "Great!" she thought before knocking.  
  
Ross opened the door smiling. He missed living with Rachel a lot. Maybe now he could ask her to come back, after all, they were still friends.  
  
She came in and stood nervously in the living room. "And. and where am I going to sleep?" she asked  
  
"I was thinking you could use my bedroom. I can sleep here on the couch"  
  
"No Ross. I'll sleep on the couch. I don't want to leave you without your bed"  
  
"It's ok. I love sleeping on the couch. you know that"  
  
Rachel smiled remembering all those night she had woken up in the middle of the night and saw him sleeping on the couch with a book on his hands. She always covered him with a blanket and kissed his forehead before going back to bed.  
  
"I know. but still. I don't want to bother you"  
  
"You are not bothering me Rach. You have never bothered me" he said sweetly. "So. good night. and I'll see you tomorrow. Now go to your room" he added playfully  
  
Rachel laugh "ok dad. I'll go to bed now, but. I need to ask you one last favor"  
  
"And what's that" asked Ross crossing his arms  
  
"I kind of. forgot to bring my pjs" she said shyly.  
  
He looked at her and smiled widely "Ok. ok. you can sleep naked if you want" he joked  
  
"What?" she asked blushing "that. that wasn't what." she rambled nervously  
  
"I know. I know" said Ross laughing "you want me to lend you a t-shirt or something"  
  
Rachel nodded still blushed  
  
"I have the perfect pj for you"  
  
They entered Rachel's old bedroom. Ross opened the big closet and took a white t-shirt from a brown box. He handed it to her and smiled again. "I'm sure this will fit you"  
  
Rachel took the t-shirt and smiled. It was his 'Frankie say relax' t-shirt she used to wear when they were dating. She had kept it as one of the many things that reminded her of the happiest time of her life. But he had it, she looked at him confused.  
  
"You left it here when you moved back with Joey" he explained  
  
"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked  
  
"I thought you were so mad at me that you didn't want to know about an old t-shirt you used to wear 6 years ago. I thought that was the reason why you left it here"  
  
"I had no idea it was here. thanks for keeping it". She looked at the t- shirt, that was her time machine, it could take her back to 1996 faster than a blink. Why would she wants to get read of it?  
  
*~*  
  
Rachel laid on Ross' bed sleepless. His smell was everywhere, and she couldn't get him out of her head. It was driving her crazy. She stood up and went to the kitchen to get a glass of warm milk. Drinking milk at night had became an habit for her lately. Sleep was harder every night, and when she finally managed to do so, the dreams would come, and everything was even worst.  
  
She left the kitchen and saw Ross sited on the couch. He was awake too.  
  
"Hey. Problems to fall asleep?" she asked handing him the milk  
  
Ross looked at her surprised, he was sure she was sleeping.  
  
Just the thought of Rachel sleeping in his bed made his mind wonder a thousand things, so he had already given up on sleeping anything that night. Ross took the glass Rachel was offering him and took a sip of it. "Thanks" he said.  
  
She sat next to him and saw he was looking through their old photo album again. "Remembering stuff?" she said as she took the photo album from the coffee table.  
  
"Sometimes remembering happy things helps" he replied  
  
"It helps? With what?"  
  
"I don't know. It helps me when I'm feeling down"  
  
"Really? For me it's the other way around. Remembering only brings me down. I try not to think about what I once had and now. you know. don't" Rachel's voice trailed, maybe she had said too much she thought. "I. I better get back to sleep"  
  
"No, wait" he called out "why don't you. uhm. stay. for a while. We haven't talked in weeks and I. I've missed you"  
  
Rachel smiled "I've missed you too. . But sometimes is easier to be apart than together"  
  
"What do you mean?" he asked confused  
  
"You know what I mean"  
  
"I really, really don't"  
  
Rachel sighed. "It's look like. every time we are together we are either fighting or. you know. flirting. and. and I'm started to get tired of that game"  
  
"I know what you mean. but I'm not tired. I could never get tired of being with you. Either fighting or flirting" said Ross smiling  
  
Rachel stood from the couch frustrated "Why are you doing this? Why are you telling me that?"  
  
Ross looked at her confused "What?"  
  
"Why are you telling me you like being with me? you don't mean it!"  
  
"Of course I do Rachel. What are you talking about?"  
  
"You know what?. talking to you about this was a bad idea. Good night!" she said before storming out of the living room and slamming the door of Ross' bedroom. She throw herself to Ross' bed and started to cry  
  
Ross was numbed by Rachel's reaction. He wasn't expecting her to throw herself at him, but he sure wasn't expecting this either. He stood up from the couch and walked to his bedroom.  
  
"Rach... open up!" he said knocking "Come on Rachel" he kept on knocking "talk to me... don't do this"  
  
Rachel looked at the door and then burried her face on the pillow again. Ross' smell wasn't driving her crazy anymore, it was actually calming her. She stood up and opened the door. Ross was still standing there. They looked at each other, none of them knowing what to do next. He wiped a tear from her cheek and stroke her hair with the other  
  
"I'm so sorry" he said softly "but I have no idea what I did wrong. I can't stand seeing you cry. I would never do whatever is that I did in purpose"  
  
Rachel kept looking at him expresionless. Was he telling the truth? And if he was, how could he explain all of the times he let her down in the past?  
  
"But whatever I did... I'm sorry" he said before hugging her  
  
She didn't hug him back. She still couldn't understand. "Why are you doing this?" she asked again quietly  
  
"What?" asked Ross with a tone of desesperation in his voice, as he let her go from his embrace "What the hell am I doing?"  
  
"You are hurting me... please... stop" she begged, and a tear rolled down her cheek.  
  
Hurting her?... how? Ross wondered. How could he hurt her? By loving her so much? But that wouldn't hurt her, that only would hurt him. And it did. He was standing there, in front of her, speechless. He had prepared every word for when the moment to confess her his love came, and now that moment was here, and he didn't know where to start, or even what to say  
  
***FLASHBACK***FLASHBACK***  
  
Rachel was feeling really happy although the day had started in an awful way. For the first time in a year she had felt alone and broken. The night before she and Ross had had an awful fight, the biggest one since they were together. He had wanted to celebrate their first anniversary and she had been so busy that everything had ended in a mess, wich later leaded to a fight, to end up with her asking him for a break she didn't want. Just the idea of living without him was enough to try to fix everything that was wrong between them, because she couldn't live without him. He was her everything. And she had found out that the previous night, as she tried to reach him all night to ask him for forgiveness. Finally she had decided to leave him a message on his answering machine saying there was nothing too big that they couldn't work pass through, that she couldn't and didn't want to live without him in her life, and that Mark was her friend and nothing more. She had even consider cutting Mark out of her life, it wasn't worth risk her relationship with Ross because of him.  
  
She had decided to take a break from work to spend the whole evening with Ross, cuddling in bed, kissing and making love. But before going to Ross' she stopped by the Central Perk to grab a cup of coffe. She entered the coffe house and looked at the couch where the gang used to hang out, there was a couple there and she didn't want to disturb them, so she approached to the counter where Gunther was cleaning and smiled at him widely. He would probably think she was crazy, but she didn't care, she couldn't stop smiling  
  
"Hey Gunther!!" she greeted  
  
"Hello Rachel!!" replied the blond hair man, looking at her weirdly "how... how are you?"  
  
"Fine... great... couldn't be better" she said smiling  
  
"Really? I thought you'd be crushed"  
  
"Why?" asked Rachel weirdly  
  
"Well... I heard about you and your boyfriend..."  
  
"We fixed that" said Rachel interrupting him "there's nothing too big that we can't work out Gunther, we love each other way too much". She had no idea why she was telling him all this. But she felt like a teenage girl in love, and wanted to shout it to the whole world  
  
"Wow... I never thought you would forgive him that easily. I remember when you worked here and that costumber you used to serve called Mary... you yelled at him like crazy for cheating on you... remember?" asked Gunther  
  
"Yes... I do remember that. But what does that to do with this? I mean... the agument Ross and I had last night was kind of my fault... I was the one who asked him that damn break"  
  
"And what about the fact that he slept with that Chloe girl from the copy place? I don't think that could be your fault"  
  
"What?!" asked Rachel confused. She had no idea what Gunther was talking about  
  
"Oh, you didn't know it?" he said smiling to himself  
  
"What?... no... that... that... can't be true... no" she said walking away from the counter, not wanting to believe what Gunther was telling her. It couldn't be true. They had worked everything out that morning, they were gonna spend the rest of the day together. Ross would never do that to her. "Can... can you bring me a latte please?" she asked to a waitress as she sited on the little table by the window, with her eyes fixed on Gunther, not believing why he would came up with such a big fat lie.  
  
In that same moment Ross had stomed into the coffee house, so fast that he didn't notice Rachel's presence. She wanted to run to him and tell him everything about Gunther's lie. But she didn't. The second she saw his face she knew there was something wrong, so she stood there, waiting for whatever that was going to happen.  
  
"Gunther!" she heard him calling out the man behind the counter "please tell me you didn't say anything to Rachel about me and the girl from the copy place" said Ross  
  
"I'm sorry. Was I not supposed to?" answered Gunther, and went back to clean the counter.  
  
Ross turned around and saw Rachel sited by the window. She wasn't crying, but just by the look in her eyes he could tell she was hurt, she was devasted, and it was everything his fault  
  
***END FLASHBACKS***END FLASHBACKS***  
  
Both remainded silent. Rachel was still crying. Ross stepped closer to her and hugged her once again, trying to confort her. He wanted to kiss all her pain away. But how could he do that when it seemed that loving her so much was what was hurting her so much. Ross carried her by the hand to the couch area. They sitted. Ross looked at her looking for answers. He found none. She just looked at her hands, still crying.  
  
"Can you... can you explain me... how?" he asked her, breaking the silence  
  
She looked at him and asked "Why do you keep acting like you had feelings for me when you don't?"  
  
"What are you talking about Rachel?"  
  
"It's always the same thing, 'we are just friends Rach'; 'we shouldn't mix up feelings, for Emma's sake'; 'it was just a mistake, I'm sorry'... why?... why do you keep playing with me like this?"  
  
"Rach... after that kiss YOU were the one who said we were just friends, nothing more. I just wanted to make it easy on you ok?" he said standing from the couch and pacing around  
  
"I never said that!!... you were the one who went to my apartment to tell me it was a mistake!!"  
  
"But you told Charlie that day... you told her we were just friends!"  
  
"Of course Ross!!. She was your ex-girlfriend, you had broken up with her just the day before. Did you want me to tell her 'you know what Charlie?, Ross and I are much more than just friends... in fact, we kissed last night!'. I didn't even know how you felt about it!! Cause you are the best when it comes to hide your feelings from me"  
  
Ross looked at her and didn't answer  
  
"How many times, along this long way we have walked, we had the chance to get back together?. But no... you were too afraid to tell me anything. You are such a coward!!"  
  
"you are right... I am a coward" he replied softly  
  
"Why?... why are you so affraid of being with me Ross?"  
  
"I'm not affraid of being with you... I'm... I'm affraid of losing you... of hurting you again. Everytime I get the chance to tell you about what I feel , the look on your face when you found out about me and that girl from the copy place pops into my head. So broken, so hurt... I had always hated those guys who made you cried. When we were in highschool, I used to dream I beated all those morrons up. Then, when you came back into my life, it only took me one look at your face to fall in love with you all over again. You have NO idea how much I wanted to hurt Barry and Paolo... and then... all of the sudden, I was no better than them. I hurt you more than anyone before. And I hated myself for that" Ross looked down "I was so thankful when we managed to become friends again... at least I would still have you in my life"  
  
Rachel stood up from the couch and approached to him. He looked so vulnerable, more like a little boy than a 36 years old grown up man. She stood in front of him and hugged him. All this time he had been trying to protect her without caring about what he was going through, without caring about anyone's happyness but hers. And all this time she had been so blind, acusing him of being heartless and unsensitive, when the truth was, he had only taken the wrong way to protect her. As she hugged him, she didn't know if he was crying, but she was.  
  
"I'm sorry... I never... I never knew" she said  
  
"It's ok... it wasn't your fault" he replied  
  
Both got locked on a fulled of love hug. Both wanting to tell each other so many things that they didn't know where to start. But somehow feeling that the hug they were sharing, the contact of their bodies, could say it better than words.  
  
Ross looked at her and she looked back at him, still with their arms around each other. At the same time they reached for the other's lips. Sharing a magical kiss, a healing kiss, a kiss that reasured them there were there, they were awake, they were real, none of them was dreaming, and that they still had a chance to be happy.  
  
Ross broke the kiss just to look into her blue eyes. Those eyes he loved so much, those eyes he had fall in love with 20 years ago were now smiling at him again, smiling like they used to do 6 years ago. And he kissed her again, this time trying to recover all the time lost, knowing that after the kiss, they won't have to worry about what it meant, cause both knew it ment they still loved each other, probably more than ever, probably more that anyone in the world.  
  
They broke the kiss once again and looked into each other's eyes. Without saying a word they headed to Ross' bedroom. They closed the door leaving the past behind, returning to the way it was 6 years ago. But now they weren't remembering, they were living it, enjoying it, sharing it.  
  
TO BE CONTINUE...  
  
If you love this chapter as much as I did.... wich I'm sure you did... you'll know why I said the last one was boaring . Stay tune for what it's going to happen now ;). PLEASE KEEP REVIEWING 


	9. Heartaches 9

I'm sorry for the delay guys.... I haven't been home for 4 days... I went to the beach hehehe (Lucky my :D), but you probably don't wanna know what I did this weekend.... so now with the story  
  
HEARTACHES - CHAPTER 9  
  
Ross woke up. Has it all been real or was he dreaming again? Was everything over? The long waiting, the hidden feelings, the heartaches... where they all really gone forever?. He looked at his left side and saw Rachel sleeping peacefully. She looked like an angel he thought. He missed waking so much waking up next to her just to see her sleep. He was gonna make everything right this time, he promised himself. He wouldn't be able to handle losing her again. Not after revealing her his biggest fears. Not after having her saying she still had feelings for him. Not after last night.  
  
Rachel slowly opened her eyes, remembering the previous night as you remember a wonderful dream. She turned around and saw Ross smiling at her. At first, she looked at him weirdly, still really confused, but then she couldn't help smiling him back, and as if this had been a sign, he kissed her sweetly on the forehead, then in the tip of the nose and then on the lips. It was the way they used to say good morning to each other when they were together. Rachel loved it, he knew it. She kissed him back and slowly they started to sunk into it, not thinking about anything else than themselves, not feeling anything else than each other's lips and tasting nothing but that kiss.  
  
When they broke the magical kiss, one of many others that had been shared that night, they just stare at each other, not saying anything, just feeling, just enjoying  
  
Ross was the first onw to say a word "did you sleep well?"  
  
Rachel nodded  
  
Ross looked at her and started caressing her cheek "me too" he said "better than in a long long time"  
  
There was another silence. Both remained contemplating each other, as if they were in front of the biggest miracle of history, as if it was some kind of dream come true, as if they were living something they had already given up on the hope of living again.  
  
"Breakfast?" he asked softly, still trying to catch his breath.  
  
She nodded again. There weren't words to put down what she was feeling, and although Ross' questions were pretty easy to answer, she felt like she was unable to speak. The lump in her throat was too big, and she knew if she opened her mouth to say something she'd start to cry happy tears. There was still so many things she hadn't said to him, and she didn't know where to start. But she was sure he knew evey little thing she was feeling, cause they could talk to each other just by looking into the other's eyes, from heart to heart. That had been the way they used all this years to say 'I love you' to each other. She had just discovered that.  
  
Ross stood up from the bed, not before giving her another kiss. "I know this could seem rushed, and I don't want to freak you out... but... but I feel like.... I feel like I need to tell you this" he rambled nervously after breaking the kiss. She smiled "I... I love you"  
  
She looked at him speechless, more than she already was, and her eyes filled with tears. She had been fighting them back but after what Ross said she couldn't handle it anymore and she started to cry  
  
"I'm sorry sweety... I knew I shouldn't have said anything yet" he conforted her as he hugged her stroking her hair  
  
"You have no idea..." she finally said "you have no idea how much I've waited to hear you saying that"  
  
He smiled "I know honey... I know how much you've waited"  
  
"I love you too" she replied  
  
"I know" he said looking into her eyes once again  
  
The phone ringed, breaking he healing moment they were sharing. Ross quickly got up from the bed and went straight to the kitchen as Rachel picked up the phone  
  
"Hello?" she said  
  
"Rachel?" a woman's voice said through the phone  
  
"Hey mom!" replied Rachel akwardly  
  
"What are you doing there so early? Are you two back together?" asked Sandra full of hope  
  
"Kinda... I mean... we haven't talked about what does this mean.... but I'm pretty sure that we are"  
  
"That's wonderful darling. It was about time one of you come into his senses. You two have always belonged together. And Emma needs both of you"  
  
Rachel smiled at the sound of her daughter's name. Emma would finally have a real family. "I know" she replied. "Mom... not to sound rude or anything but... why... why are you calling here?"  
  
"Oh... really... with the excitment of the news I almost forgot.... I called Ross because I was calling at your place and no one picked up. I wanted to know what time are you kinds gonna come to pick Emma up"  
  
"Can you watch her a little bit longer mom?... please?... we still could use some time alone"  
  
"Of course sweety. Enjoy this as much as you can. Just give me a call when you are on your way here"  
  
"Thanks mom. Bye. Love ya'"  
  
Rachel hang up the phone and looked around. A lot of images and thoughts crossed her mind. Their first kiss, their first date, the first time they made love, the first time they said 'I love you'. Everything was merging to this new found happyness and completeness she was feeling. She had never been so happy.  
  
Ross entered the room carring the tray with the breakfast. "Just the way you like it" he said smiling before giving her a quick pick on the lips "Who was calling?"  
  
"My mom"  
  
"Your mom?"  
  
"Yes. She said no one picked up on my place so she decided to call you. You should have listened the tone in her voice when she realized I was the one picking up the phone"  
  
Ross laugh a little "I guess... so... why was she calling?.... is everything ok?"  
  
"Yeah. She just wanted to know at what time we will be picking Emma" replied Rachel as she ate piece of toast  
  
"And... and what did you answer her?" asked Ross concerned. It wasn't like he didn't want to be with his daughter, it was just that he didn't want his time alone with Rachel ended up so soon.  
  
"I told her" she said approaching to her seductibly "that we could still use some time alone, so it wouldn't be anytime soon"  
  
He smiled back and with a flirty tone in his voice said "let's give it 3 to 4 hours"  
  
"Dr Geller!!" giggled Rachel as both of them fell into the bed kissing passionately  
  
*~*  
  
"Rachel, Ross and Emma are on their way over" said Monica to Chalder as she sat the table  
  
"Good... another night of babysitting. This is going to be so exciting" he replied  
  
"Come on.... you love spending time with Emma... admit it"  
  
"She's a great girl" replied Chandler smiling "Speaking of babies, have you made your mind on what you want?"  
  
"Yes... I was thinking... we could get the girl first, so our daughter and Emma can be the best of friends" answered Monica very excited  
  
"Then a girl will be". Chandler hugged her and kissed her hair. There was a knock on the door "we are coming, we are coming.... don't tumb the door please" joked Chandler as he opened the door reveling Ross, Rachel and Emma standing in the hallway  
  
"Hey you guys" greeted Rachel smiling as she entered the apartment  
  
"Thanks for taking care of Emma tonight"  
  
"You know it's not a problem, we are so happy you guys are finally together" replied Monica hugging her brother  
  
"Thanks Mon... so are we" replied Ross breaking the hug. "Chandler, can I talk to you for a second?"  
  
"You don't want an advice right? Cause I suck at that..."  
  
"I know dude... it's not about that"  
  
"Ok then"  
  
Monica, Rachel and Emma, who was playing with some fluffy animals in the carpet, were left in the appartment as Chandler and Ross went to the balcony. Rachel followed Ross with the eyes smiling, she couldn't stop looking at him  
  
"I think I've never seen you this happy" commented Monica  
  
"I've never been this happy Mon... I finally have a family... well... at least sort of..." said Rachel with happy tears in her eyes  
  
"Ok... don't cry... cause if you do I'm gonna start crying too, and you're gonna ruin your make up"  
  
"Ok" replied Rachel smiling as she looked at Ross through the window. "I love him so much"  
  
Monica followed her friend's eyes and looked at her brother too "he loves you like crazy too" she said smiling.  
  
The two friends remained silent. There was still something bugging Monica, bu she didn't know how to ask it, or if she should ask it at all.  
  
"What? Asked Rachel recognizing the concerned look on her friend's face  
  
"There's something I wanna ask you hon"  
  
"Of course"  
  
"What's... what's going to happen with the LA thing?"  
  
"I'm not going anywhere Mon... why would I?" replied Rachel  
  
"Thank God... I was affraid you were gonna carry on with that little plan of yours"  
  
"Not in a million years"  
  
"Did you tell Ross about it?"  
  
"I don't need to... I'm gonna fix everything tomorrow morning. He doesn't have to know"  
  
"You are probably right, it's better this way"  
  
"I don't need him freaking out on our first date Mon... Beside, I'm not going anywhere anyway"  
  
*~*  
  
"Please don't ask me for advine" said Chandler to Ross in the balcony  
  
"I told you it wasn't about that... beside... you are really lousy at that"  
  
"Ok, then shoot" replied Chandler "wait a minute.... you are not porposing, are you?"  
  
"What?... why... why not?"  
  
"Because you've only been back together for two days. You don't marry a girl after being with her two days. Who knows who's name you're gonna say in the altar this time"  
  
"Ha, ha, really funny Chandler. First of all, that sounded like and advice. And second of all, Rachel isn't just A GIRL. I don't know where have you been the last 10 years, but we have our history" said Ross looking through the window and seeing Rachel and Monica talking in the living room "anyway... that's not what I wanted to tell you... I'm not proposing, at least not tonight"  
  
"Ok, what was it then"  
  
"I'm gonna ask her to move in with me... I was gonna do it anyway... I miss her and Emma like crazy, and I don't see why we should be living in two places now"  
  
"Now THAT makes sense... I think it's a great idea man"  
  
"Thanks" replied Ross smiling. "Ok, let's go back inside. Rachel and I have reservations and we sure don't wanna be late"  
  
Chandler and Ross entered to the apartment from the balcony "Honey, we better get going" he said  
  
"Yes, I was going to tell you the same thing" replied Rachel approaching to the door  
  
"Again, thank you guys for taking care of Emma"  
  
"No problem Ross. You two have fun tonight" replied Chandler smiling at his friend before Ross and Rachel left the apartment.  
  
"Wait, I forgot to bring a coat" said Rachel in the hallway. Both of them entered to hers and Joey's apartment. Rachel saw the answering machine light blinking "Honey, could you please hear the message as I get my coat?. It's probably my mother or Joey"  
  
"Sure Rach..." replied Ross as he watched her entering to her room. He pushed the play button and an unfamiliar female voice came through the machine  
  
"Miss Green, this is Mrs Adams. I'm calling you to tell you that everything is ready up here. The landlord of the building said there was no problem with the baby, the car is already yours and we have you the best daycare center in town, and the best thing is that it's pretty close to the office. Call me tomorrow morning to confirm everything and we'll be seing each other soon. Bye bye"  
  
Ross looked at the machine weirdly, trying to figure out what was all that about.  
  
Rachel came out from her room with two coats in her hands "wich one do you think it's better? This one or this?" she asked not looking at him. "I think I'm gonna wear this one, the night isn't that cold" she said lifting the coat on her right hand. She looked at Ross and saw the weird expression on his face. "What?... if you don't like this one I can wear the other"  
  
"Are you moving" he asked suddenly  
  
"Uhu?"  
  
"Are you going anywhere?"  
  
"Yes... I'm going on a date with you... what's wrong honey?"  
  
Ross pushed play and the woman's voice came through the speaker again. Rachel paled  
  
"Are you moving?" he asked again  
  
"No" she replied quickly  
  
"Then what was that about?"  
  
"I was gonna move... but not anymore" she answered lowing her voice  
  
"Where?" he asked intrigued  
  
"LA" she said softly  
  
"L... L... A? And you weren't planing on tell me anything?"  
  
"I'm not moving anymore Ross!"  
  
"But you were!!... and you were gonna take Emma with you, without telling me anything!"  
  
"I was... I was going to tell you"  
  
"When?... you had everything ready!! When were you supposed to leave?"  
  
"Two weeks" she answered looking down. That was why she didn't want to tell him anything, she knew he was gonna react this way "I thought there was no other way to get over you, ok?! I wanted to start over. I wanted to build a family for my daughter!"  
  
Ross laugh sarcastically "so you were doing all this for our daughter... you wanted to destroy my life just for Emma's sake"  
  
"Come on Ross, I thought we would never gonna happen again, and I was tired of getting hurt. I needed to finally move on"  
  
"Then don't say it was for Emma's sake!! It was only for yours!!" he said raising his voice. There was a hurt look in his eyes and a tone in her voice that made Rachel's heart squeeze  
  
"It was a mistake Ross... I'm going to fix everything tomorrow morning. I'm not going anywhere now"  
  
"Maybe you should..." he replied coldly "maybe you are right... it can be the best thing for the three of us" he added before leaving the apartment slamming the door with an atonished Rachel looking at him  
  
TO BE CONTINUE...  
  
I'm sorry for that guys.... but I promised you tension 'till the very end....  
  
Please read and review... I'm gonna try to post the next chapter soon... I have it kind of ready, there are a few things I want to add before posting it though.... 


	10. Heartaches 10

Hey people!! .... here's the new chapter... it may seem a little confusing at first... but you'll understand it later on the chapter.... I hope you like it...... remember to review it  
  
HEARTACHES - CHAPTER 10  
  
"Wow... what a story mom!" said 15 years old Emma lying in her bed next to her mother "never thought it was that long"  
  
Rachel smiled at her teenage daughter. For years she had begged her to tell her her story with Ross, she had always wanted to know why and how everything was the way it was. Rachel always thought she was too young to understand a lot of the things that happened between her and the girl's father, but now her sweet little baby wasn't a baby anymore, she was already a young woman, very matured for her age... maybe too mature. She could easily understand some of the desicion her mother had taken, the right ones and the wrong ones.  
  
"There were a lot of things I didn't know. You could write a book with all that... or make a movie... or a TV show" said Emma laughing  
  
"Yeah... maybe" replied Rachel  
  
"So... you dated uncle Joey, uhu?"  
  
"It was nothing Em... we only kissed a few times and went on one or two dates"  
  
"But still... did you sleep with him?" asked Emma with a mischievous look on her face  
  
"What?... I'm not going to answer you that!!" Rachel and Emma's relationship was more as friends than as mother and daughter. Rachel knew she could trust her daughter with everything as the girl could trust her mother with every single issue.  
  
"Come on... tell me!!" insisted the girl  
  
"Ok, ok, ok.... no we didn't... we were too good as friends to go down that road... that was why we broke up actually"  
  
"Still... you dated a movie star mom... that's pretty cool"  
  
"Your father was so heartbroken when he found out about Joey and I... you should have seen his face" comented Rachel with a sad tone in her voice  
  
"It must have been really tough for him mom"  
  
"I think it was"  
  
"It would have been so fun to have uncle Joe as dad though... I'd be famous now!" joked Emma, trying to break the tension  
  
"Don't even think on saying that in front of your father. He's a great dad Em. He loves you like crazy"  
  
"I know mom... I was only joking" replied the girl. She stayed silent for a while, thinking carefully what she was about to ask her mother. "Mom?..." Rachel looked at her, a bit confused by the sudden change on her daughter's tone "Do you... I mean... are you... are you still in love with my dad?"  
  
Rachel looked at Emma amazed, her question had took her off guard. She stood silent for a while, choosing carefully the words she was going to use to answer the best way possible her daughter's question. She wanted to make everything clear "Look Em" she started "there are few things in life as everlasting as true love. Your father has always been the love of my life, and I know he always will be inspite of all the fights, the hurt and the heartaches. I've came to the conclusion that no matter where I go, or what I do... that will never change... no matter how hard I try, and only God knows how hard I've tried"  
  
Emma smiled. That was exactly the answer she wanted to hear, but there were still a thousand question in the girl's mind "But mom... how... how did we end up this way?... I mean, that's not your whole story, right?... what happened after that fight?""  
  
"That's another story honey, and you have to sleep now, you have school tomorrow morning, and you don't wanna go with bags under your eyes, right?"  
  
"You're right... I need my beauty sleep"  
  
Rachel stood from Emma's daughter after giving her a quick kiss in the forehead "Good night sweety"  
  
"Good night mom"  
  
"Is my princess still awake?" asked Ross opening slightly the door to Emma's bedroom  
  
"Yes daddy" replied Emma  
  
"Why are you still up so late?" he asked her  
  
"That would be my fault honey... I was telling her our story"  
  
"Our story? The whole thing? Wow!"  
  
"It's a very interesting story daddy"  
  
"Did your mom tell you we were on break?" he asked joking, waiting for Rachel's reaction  
  
Rachel looked at him with the eyes opened widely and hit him playfully "20 years and you're still on that... I can not believe it you!"  
  
"Yes dad... mom told me about the break thing... and it looks to me, that you really weren't"  
  
Ross' smiled frown  
  
"That's my daughter!!" said Rachel proundly  
  
"Ok, ok, ok... I can't against the two of you... I give up!" said Ross rasing his two hands admiting defeat  
  
"It was about time" replied Rachel, still laughing  
  
"Ok... after that very interesting conversation... we better get the hell out of here... I don't want you two ploting anything else against me, and my princess needs to get some sleep" said Ross as hugged Rachel from behind before kissing her in the top of the head  
  
"Night sweety" said Rachel to Emma again  
  
"night mom"  
  
"Bye bye princess" said Ross, kissing Emma's forehead  
  
"Bye daddy" replied Emma before her parents left her room  
  
"Let me say goodnight to Nicky" said Rachel letting go of Ross' embrace before entering to their 12 years old son bedroom.  
  
"I'll see you in our room then" he replied  
  
*~*  
  
Rachel entered to the bedroom and sat next to Ross, both looked at each other before kissing sweetly  
  
"Emma asked if I was still in love with you" said Rachel after breaking the kiss  
  
"Really... why?"  
  
"Well... maybe she's amazed by how much can I love someone as stubborn and hardass as you" she replied smiling  
  
"Could be... why are you in love with me again?"  
  
"Cause inspite of all those things you are still the most wonderful, carring, loveable, noble and amazing guy I've ever met"  
  
Ross smiled and started stroking her hair "I love you"  
  
"I love you too" she replied "thank you"  
  
"For what?"  
  
She rested her head on his shoulder and sighed "For everything. For been here. For our two wonderful children. For all of this years. For giving me the family I always dreamt. Thank you"  
  
"You are welcome honey... it has been a pleaseure" he replied kissing her hair  
  
***FLASHBACK***FLASHBACK***  
  
Rachel crossed the street furious. How could Ross been so heartless? Had those past two days ment nothing to him? How could he ever think she was gonna leave him? She wasn't going anywhere. Not this time. She was exactly where she was supposed to be, and she was going to fight for that  
  
She stood on Ross' hallway and knocked the apartment door roughly. Ross opened without saying a word. She let herself in and stood in the living room with her hands on her hips as she gave him a hard look  
  
"I'm not going anywhere" she said firmly "I don't know if me telling you I love you is enough for you to belive it. But I do. I love you like I never thought I'd be capable of, and I'm not gonna give up that easily. Three days ago I thought we would never gonna happen again... then the other night came and it filled me with all the strength I needed to fight for this, cause I know it's real. I don't need to go to LA to find happyness... cause happyness is right here, by your side. And I know you are scared we are not going to make it this time... God I'm petrifed.... but just knowing I'm going through this with you makes it a lot easier!.  
  
I thought going away and getting over you was the only way out, for my happyness, for yours and for Emma's. But now I know that would have been the biggest mistake of my life, and you were right... I was being slefish. I can't get over you when I don't want to. That's why I'm staying, and no matter what you say or what you do... I won't change my mind this time!" Rachel stood in the middle of the apartment waiting for Ross reaction. He just stood there as she gave him her speech without moving, just standing there with a look on his face that it was hard for Rachel to read. She wanted to know what was going through his mind. She needed to know  
  
"Ok, I'm trying my best here... aren't you gonna say anything?"  
  
Ross moved from where he was standing and stood in front of her. Put his hand on his right pocket and took a little black box from it. "Marry me?" he asked  
  
Rachel looked at him shocked "wh.... wha... what?" she muttered  
  
He smiled watching Rachel's reaction "Marry me?" he repited with the small box opened on his hand "I know it may seemed a little rushed, giving the fact that we've only been together for two days, but we don't have to get married right away. Just knowing that you are willing to marry me one day is enough for me". He took the ring from the box and placed into her finger "I wanna be happy by your side too. I wanna spend the rest of my life with you Rachel"  
  
Rachel smiled weakly looking at her hand. Her eyes started to water. She lifted her head to face Ross and replied "Yes... I... I ... will.... I will marry you"  
  
Ross hugged her before kissing her deeply, she was crying  
  
"I had no idea what I was going to do if my speech didn't work" she said still crying as she hugged him  
  
"When I left your apartment I came to pick up the ring... I wasn't gonna let you go anywhere..." he explained  
  
"I love you"  
  
"I love you too" replied Ross before kissing her one more time "my fiancee"  
  
"I'm sorry for not telling you about LA"  
  
"I'll forgive you only if you promise me you are not going anywhere"  
  
"I'm not"  
  
"Then you are forgiven" he said smiling  
  
***END FLASHBACK***END FLASHBACK***  
  
THE END  
  
There is... the end of another story.... I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writting it....  
  
Please keep the reviews coming.... I still want to know what you thought of the whole fic... was it better than my first one? was it worst?... was there something you didn't understand?... please, I wanna know EVERYTHING!... And stay tune cause I think I'll be having a brand new fic anytime soon ;) 


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